Previously, on the guild stage: Drama Whore Diva (DWD) announces her triumphant return to online gaming, and much to everyone’s joy, will join our guild in World of Warcraft, assuming we will obey her new rules. I am not making that up. Well, I’m making up that part about everyone being joyful, because I sure as f*** wasn’t.

We begin Act II with a brief flashback which will be important later. We first had an issue with DWD when she wanted one of our younger members booted out of the guild because he shared incredibly personal information about DWD with a non-guildie.

Here’s the facts: Non-guildie asked Younger Member if DWD was really a female and if Younger Member had see her picture. He responded in the affirmative to both questions and further added that DWD was not wolf ugly, as far as he knew, because who can tell on the internet with pictures and Photoshop. Let’s be honest, when chicks post glamor shot pics or whatever the f*** those are, hilarity ensues — the pouty, “I’m mad as hell” look doesn’t work.

Anyhow, that’s the incredibly personal information that she wigged out over. No one mailed the non-guildie the “I’m mad as hell” pic or told him her real life first name or where she lived, etc.

I’m all about internet safety for the fems; it’s a sad reality. But for crissakes, the onus for basic safety is on the chicks … if you don’t want anyone to know real information, don’t give it out.

So, wigged-out DWD was calling for this 14 year old’s removal, a pack of guild crusaders were taking up DWD’s cause, and this poor kid is almost in tears about the mess … all because this crazy bitch wasn’t getting enough attention. End of flashback: we didn’t remove the kid; we smoothed things over and warned him to steer clear of the whack job.

Fast forward to present day: DWD’s announces her triumphant gaming return but warns the guild that she has changed her character name because there are two dudes from our Star Wars server that are “bothering” her. You know, because everyone wants her. (Ya.)

And so, because everyone wants her but she vants to be left alone, the guild is not allowed to tell outsiders her new character name. Hey, that’s cool with me — I don’t want to know the new name myself — but ffs, we can’t control information like that in a 50-person guild.

Someone will innocently pass on the info, and BOOM, that someone will be guildremoved. Even though these SWG dudes are “bothering” her, she has to make a character on the dudes’ server and the rest of us are responsible for keeping her identity secret?

(How ’bout NOOOOOOOOO, ya crazy bitch!)

DWD, suspecting a lack of attention from yours truly, asked me what I thought. (I’m not sure why she still speaks to me when I believe I’ve made it clear that I truly don’t give a f*** if she comes, goes or encounters a runaway truck.)

I explained that it would never work and that if she really wanted to avoid the SWG dudes, she would have made her character on another server, under a different name, and told no one. Problem solved.

I guess I was being insensitive again as she called me a name similar to bastard that begins with a P. Obviously, I was already aware of that, but she added that she won’t be grouping with me ever again.

Mission Accomplished.