The Noobs Are Breeding

If you played Warcrack before Christmas and now after, you know already that fresh busloads of noobs have arrived … which you also know is annoying as fuck with a whole new batch of idiots asking in the public channel where the Jasperlode mines are.

Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST LOG?!?!?!

Jeezus, after the 46th time that question’s been asked, my patience wears thin. I’ve had to create an alt character to grind another crafting skill (Foton’s toon has needs, man!), so I’ve been hanging in the noob zone again. *shudder*

I’ve also helped out a few noobs — I have a heart, just not a very generous one — whacking their moles so they can finish quests, etc. Without exception, they go running into a swarm of mobs and expect to survive. You know, instead of pulling systematically, carefully, methodically, they just dive right in and expect me to save their sorry pixelated asses.

This one quest in particular, an elite mob surrounded by four or five guards, I told the druid to stay put with the others while I’d pull the room to clear the roamers before the boss mob. Ok, apparently that instruction was too complicated for him, as while I’m standing outside the room waiting for a roamer to move, I turn around and GAH! there’s the druid right behind with four mobs chasing him.

Seriously, motherfuck.

We deal, and, again I instruct the group to WAIT RIGHT THERE, I’ll bring more — this time, hopefully from the room we want to clear.

I’m wiser now and wait for the druid to show up right behind me. And he does. So I asked, why are you here instead of there with the rest of the group? He’s usually the puller, he explains.

What-fucking-ever. This time, you ain’t. Now get yer ass back with the rest (of the noobs).

Now normally, a druid would be a fine puller, I’m not hating on the druids, but I outleveled the rest of the group by at least 5 levels and the reduced aggro radius was mighty helpful in the tight quarters. Plus, he was an idiot.

So he goes back to the group, pouting all the way. The mage tries to comfort the druid by reminding him that everyone is still learning in Warcrack and it’s no big deal.

Again with the pouting and he wanted to know exactly what he still had to learn in this game. Oh, if I only had about two hours to list the 89 things I could think of off the top of my head.

Anyways, it was time for the elite dude and I told druid boy that he was on heal duty while I tanked the bitch. You would have thought I asked for a blow job by the way he reacted. “what??? healing is so boring!!! I’m gonna nuke”

In my opinion, I had been displaying the patience of Job with this assrag, but that time was over. It was time for blunt: You will heal and if I see one nuke come out of your druid fingers, I’m ditching aggro and letting him chew your ass to bits and then we will finish the mob and you will get nothing.

Seems crystal clear, right? Do your job or you’re going on the quick graveyard trip.

Sometimes noobs need to be educated in the School of Hard Knocks. Most respond to the blunt and are happy later to be done with the quest; this one preferred pouting. His choice.

And my choice was to make good on my promise … I ditched aggro and let the elite mob have druid for dinner. I did have to use all my talents (AA skills in EQ-ese) to survive the tanking and one very uber heal potion, but the group got the kill and a very nice caster item for the mage.

Druid boy spent the next few minutes screaming at me while running back to his corpse. He also thought that I should pay the repairs on his equipment. (ya. ok.) And that when the elite mob respawned several minutes hence, we should kill it again for him.

I asked if he had learned a lesson. I wasn’t looking for a pound of flesh here, just maybe an “ok, I’ll heal this time”, because I had already used the very uber heal potion and didn’t have another, ffs. No, he didn’t learn any lesson other than I was an asshole.

Ok, go with that then. /disband

He was right about that, at least.

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