I had another one of those wickedly evil ideas the other day. As you may know, I’m a fan of gaming pranks … all flavors … even when I am the intended victim. Like last week when one of my World of Warcraft guildmates submitted my character name and stats to this rival guild (and they’re ALL rivals) as an applicant.

I suspected something was up as he would start giggling on TeamSpeak every time I’d say “I just got a weird tell” (and they’re ALL weird tells). After I’d share that it was just another BRD invite from a guild I’d never heard of before, he’d say, “oh”, kinda dejectedly. I know now that he was waiting for his little prank bomb to go off and could hardly contain himself.

Finally, it detonated and we all had a good laugh at their (and my) expense. The fake guild app is a classic and I never tire of it.

He’ll have to try harder than that to top the prank I pulled off almost a year ago in Star Wars Galaxies when I told this perennially-hard cyberbag that a guildmate was a woman (IRL!!), but somewhat shy until “warmed up”, if you know what I mean and I think you do, and then … LOOK OUT, because the dude was in for one wild cyber ride. Heh, took the guildie a good month or more to peel that dog off his leg.

Maybe you’ve seen a few of these fake blogs. (Samples here and here — the 4/11/05 entry “Rev. Thorton Heat” cuz blogspot screws permalinks — with a link to this fake blog.)

The creators assume someone else’s identity (usually someone they hate or someone for whom their contempt burns like a white-hot flame), then make insipid blog posts on the hated’s behalf. Even if the fake blogs aren’t well done, hilarity ensues. And frankly, it’s a lot cheaper than extensive therapy.

If I had all the time in the world, and all the patience too to deal with free blogspot’s bullshit, here’s a short list of fake blogs I’d create, limited to my gaming acquaintances as I know some jagbags in real life that I’d like to give the fake blog treatment also. The short list:

1. This WoW guild on my server that can’t kill jack or shit without 50 people along, yet they insist on posting every achievement, NO MATTER HOW MINOR, on the realm forums. I’d be sure to add some “what we had for breakfast” posts. Incredible fucking losers.

2. The Scuzziest Skank I Ever Had the Displeasure to (virtually) Meet. I’ve written about her before. (refresh your memory, we’ve got time.) I haven’t heard of her in years, not even rumors of her, but my disgust remains unabated. No mere breakfast posts for her; I think a photoblog with shots like this (top pic) would be more suiting. In case this is mixed company here (doubtful, but hey), I’ll refrain from using the word I might otherwise. (you know the one) But I’m thinking it.

3. The Fucked-Up Meth Head from EQ. Addiction is one thing, but this fucker was evil. And I’m only assuming meth addiction to explain the lapses from reality. Probably, it’s more likely he was just a fucking loser with fucking voices in his head because he was too fucking mentally diseased to seek help. And therein lies the beauty of that fake blog: the multiple posters representing all the fucked-up voices in his head.

True story. The one night in some many-hour guild raid, he starts going off on this one guildmate, accusing her/him (who can tell nowadays) of cursing at him in guildchat a few minutes prior and diss’ing him in front of the whole guild and whatever the fuck else he imagined. We’re all like “wtf?” and telling him to scroll up, no such things were said. Jesus. Normally, great guy, easy to get along with, funny, bla bla, but when the voices got going … fuckkk. I only hope he has since used a gun to silence the voices. I am not joking, that fucker was whacked.

4. The Satantic Developers’ Blog. Needs no introduction, I think. Spend a little time around online gaming, and you’ve scratched your head, pounded your fist and spit curses at the monitor. But here’s the thing with this fake blog: Posts filled with utter contempt for the user base. “I screwed the loot table on BossMob01 because I could.” “Sometimes the server is down during primetime because I’m hungry.” “I pretend I care what the players want and/or think because my boss makes me.” Would be extra sporting if some of the news sites picked this up but didn’t realize it was fake until 49 people emailed and clued them.

Good thing I don’t have all the time in the world, obviously I have some anger issues.

But I have an excellent memory.