(Do you see how punny the titles can get because I don’t have summer interns to write my headlines?)

EverQuest 2’s first Fan Faire came to pass last week in beautiful Las Vegas. Here’s an official forum thread with the details. Don’t forget to check the 2nd reply on that thread with the SOE pics … including Smed (I could take him) and (creepy) Curt Schilling.

Also, aggrome has quite a few posts covering the festivities: this one is the first in the series.

Now, here’s my story from a past EverQuest Fan Faire. True story and I’m sticking to it.

If you’ve been around online gaming for more than two hours, I’m sure you’ve heard one player threaten to beat another player’s ass … IRL! If you’ve been around online gaming for more than three hours, I’m sure you’ve felt the same way yourself. Oh if only we could reach through the monitor and choke the life out of the asshats, our gaming experience would be that much richer. And asshat-free!

As usual, it will be hard to keep all the players straight, but here’s the setup: An EverQuest Fan Faire, couple of years ago, my guild had a gathering for those attending, to meet and greet … guildmates, servermates, and some of the server GMs drank the free liquor, also.

As you might suspect, I just went along for the (promised) refreshments; I bypassed all the Sony events. What the fuck was I gonna do there? Bitch and moan about zones that aren’t completed when an expansion ships? That was so five expansions ago.

I got to meet a few peeps from a rival guild that I was friendly with — met their significant others, too, what few there were. This one SO though … christ, she was a piece of work. Dumb as a fencepost and, I learned later, had been breeding with various men in her spare time. For sport, maybe, I don’t know. How she got time away from her small children to prance around at a Gaming Fan Event, I don’t know that either.

We’re walking through the resort lobby on the way to another bar (Foton was thirsty!), and the guy that the Fencepost was currently sleeping with (a servermate) did a doubletake, made haste towards some dude and hauled off with a right hook, momentarily stunning his target.

Notice I didn’t say that the dude was knocked on his ass, or had a bloody nose, or really even noticed the right hook other than to be stunned. (Ya, was that lame.)

You know how sometimes small athletes are described as “he’s small, but he’s scrappy” or “he’s wirey”? None of that applies here.

Before the stunned dude could react with a lame pop of his own, resort security swarmed and separated the two. (damn)

We found out, hours later, that both were perma-banned from the entire hotel chain’s properties and were given a stern talking to. (As if THAT will stop anyone, but better than a night in jail.)

I asked Fencepost, as they hauled off the two dudes, what was the deal there.

Her reply: “Oh, my boyfriend’s mad at that other guy cuz when we broke up a few months ago, I slept with that guy.” (as you do)

I can be slow at times, so I asked the obvious: what are the odds that her rebound fuck would be at very same resort as a fan event that she and her boyfriend were attending?

My god, what ARE the odds???

Her: “Oh, he’s here for the game event too. I met him ingame before *current boyfriend* and I broke up the first time.”

Aha! So the odds are astronomical, as I had suspected! And jesus, what did she mean “before they broke up”??

Me, still being slow and thirsty: “Ok. But still weird that they’d run into each other when we’re just hanging in bars around town!” A very large metropolitan city. With lots of bars.

Her: “Oh, I told *current boyfriend* where *other dude* would be. Kinda funny.”

… (that’s me, stunned and speechless.)

Me, thirstier still: “You are a piece of work. So who else is thirsty?”

Her: “Thank you.”

… (again, me stunned.)

I believe I owe an apology to fenceposts.