Monthly Archives: August 2005

There Are No Noobs Here

Posted on by
12

Do you remember that golden time in your chosen MMOG?

That time when you’re a badass almost-max-level and most of the players are just climbing aboard, the much-coveted word of mouth finally had reached them? When you could offer a few coins to have a noob farm some crap for you, and, he (she) was happy to get some pocket change, you were happy to be relieved of crap farming and all was right with the world?

Maybe you had a chore back in Noobville, you ran back and were surrounded by beggars, thieves and admirers alike? You had a few minutes before the scheduled raid and gave generously of your advice, if not your money, to the true noobs, the untwinked.

Ya, I remember that time, too.

Listen up cupcake, that time is OVER. ‘Twas but a golden moment in time and it ain’t never coming back.

So, if you want me to get my noob alt off his ass, or any of these other noob twinks, you better bring some gold. By November 2004’s standards, we are rich beyond avarice, so open those pursestrings wide — we need MOTIVATION to aid, assist or abet.

There are no noobs here.

WoW Barbies

Posted on by
8

Patch notes for the next World of Warcraft patch.

(Did I say patch? I meant nerf.)

I exaggerate! There’s a fishing improvement and new cooking recipes. And, if you like playing Barbies in online games, there’s a Dressing Room interface.

Some of the new content is mildly interesting, but ffs, some of that shit is harsh.

I didn’t see anywhere that they might have a handle on SOME OF THIS:

Lag!!!!

Swear to God, every night, lag starts going south, players drop from the raid, instant cast becomes 3 seconds and badabing!, we’re in recovery, folks!

I’m not bitter, though. I know Blizzard appreciates my patience in this matter.

As damn well they should.