Yahoo! Groups : WoW Widows — Not entirely unexpected, World of Warcraft has an internet support group for those abandoned and neglected by their Warcraft-playing loved ones. Unless you have a similar issue at home, you should only read and reflect. You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, fcs.
Moderation is the keyword. I’ve been happily married for 10 years and a WoW player for 1.5. I have three beautiful children ages 7 and under. My wife and I understand the need for “me” time where she has a hobby and where I have WoW (or another game). But, we take all of it in moderation.
Friday night is always date night. No matter what my guild has going on, or what her girlfriends have going on. We always do something together on Friday night — all night. It’s dedicated to us, no distractions. Monday nights are the same, except those are Family nights. Just us and the kids. No distractions.
The other days/nights of the week we take a “wait and see” attitude. If she needs time to herself, I take the kids somewhere, or send her off somewhere and I give her a break. The reverse is true. But we don’t abuse the situation. I don’t sneak off to play WoW and give up on my family. I mean, I made a committment to my wife when I married her. I never made such a thing to a computer game.
Every once in a while, my real-life friends with whom I play online in a guild will get together and WoW for an entire afternoon/night. From maybe 3pm on until 3am or something. That’s a binge that we plan ahead for with our families (we’re all married). When the appointed day comes, we all get online and it is understood that unless there’s an emergency, we’re playing WoW.
When my wife wants to do an all-night scrapbooking party with friends or family, then she’s good to go. We just plan it in like any other activity on the family calendar.
I have a level 60 and a level 55 character and various “younger” characters. If I happen to play 5 hours/week, that’s all I get. If I get more, then fine. If not, no problem. And sometimes, yes, I still get sick of WoW and have to take a break for a month or so.
At any rate, I realize that I’m lucky and while I don’t play as much as everyone else and sometimes I don’t play as much as I like, I have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful family and there’s nothing that’s going to get between me and them. No grouping of pixels ever designed could do that.
I didn’t get married to get divorced — or play computer games.
hi id like to comment bk to Brandon…..i dont think your been unfair if u read bk and look at my other comments you can see that my bf abuses this and goes on when he likes. i wish he was more like you and actually thought about it because if he took time out to think about it he would probably realise that he shuving me furthure away. so no i dont think your been unfair…and i think its gd you actually thought about it and you learnt from your mistakes. the only thing im worried about is will my bf du the same and although its a gd thing that u learnt am i the one that he going to lose to make him realise because i dont want to be that person but u really dont no how much 1 person can take.
x
Sadly, this all makes me realize how dumb my own mistakes were. I used to blow off friends to play an MMORPG very similar to WoW. So glad I finally quit a month ago. My life has been a lot better since. I went from gaming 10+ hours a day to maybe 2 hours a day (Xbox Live with real life friends) when I quit. Lately, I’ve been going out almost every night and just doing nothing but hanging with friends and stuff, things I could’ve been doing 9 months ago, but I got sucked into the game and neglected everything. I’m never going to play another MMORPG again because if I got sucked into one again, I think I’d kill myself. And don’t even get me started on how I almost lost my full college scholarship in the first semester because of it. I still haven’t fully repaired my relatonship with my family, but I doubt I can anyway.
Addiction to Warcraft and gaming is a myth. It’s a matter of Ego.
I’m a gamer, always have been. My /played time rivals most of your “addicted” spouses. I have quite literally played this game and others until my eyes WEPT BLOOD. As such, I’ve got some insight that I’d like to share with you Widows that prevented my fiancee from joining you.
Many of you cannot fathom the depths of depravity that would cause someone to ignore their spouses, children, jobs, health, and even sanity. The only thing that comes even close is an analogy of drug addiction, and that’s how many of you handle it – with patience, and love, and often, little success.
So I pose you a question: If Picasso’s paintings had been universally denounced as trash, would he have continued to paint ?
Although it’s hard to fathom, your husband feels a master of his art every time he logs on. His gear/spec/macros/rep/honor are the colors and forms that he uses to create the perfect character – his masterpiece. Those who play religiously do so out of pride.
They create incredibly powerful extensions of themselves in what can be described as the most immersive simulated world ever created. Although you might think I’m exaggerating, understand that your spouse wouldn’t. Have you ever seen two WoW players together ?
They’re exalted and revered by more casual gamers in every sense of the words. People will mill around in Ironforge or Orgrimmar, just to look at them. They know it, and they do what they do to you out of pride for their characters. And that pride is justified, because if they’re willing to put in the time that many of you describe, they’re undoubtedly in the top 1-2% of the 6,000,000 people that play. Thats akin to being an olympic athlete. Understand that they’re very, very good at what they do, and very proud of what they’ve done, so proud in fact that they’re willing to make incredible sacrafices to continue to be part of the elite. Their guilds do nothing but re-inforce this elite mentality.
And that, very simply, is how they justify it to themselves. They’re the best, how can they stop now when they’re so close to perfection ? And perfection is very hard to attain. When you’re that good, your only option is to raid/grind for those phat loots, another aspect of the guild that they’re in. Most players HATE raiding ZG/AQ/MC/BWL/Ony/Nax, (unless they’re surrounded by players of an better caliber) but how many times have you been ditched for one of those raids ? They’re here because they want to be perfect, and perfection is by design very hard to attain.
Most of the more common rationalizations that I’ve heard from the widows are just weak bullshit excuses used to hide their arrogance. They know they’re the best, and wouldn’t give it up for anything, including you, no matter how great of a wife you are. They’d rather be a virtual god, adored by all in a simulation, than Employee of the month, husband of the year, or father of the decade.
However, their arrogance is also the key to getting back your spouse, and not some husk rotting alive in front of a monitor. The answer that I think you all seek is this:
Convince your spouse that his character is not the best, nor will he ever be. Attack the flaws of his priest, not the neglect that he has shown you. If you show him that he’s truly a noob, no matter how great his character is, you’ll shake him out of it long enough to see some reason.
Then, as soon as he realizes that his perfect diamond has a great big black flaw through the middle that he never saw, when he starts to doubt that he’ll ever be better than this priest X on this server Y, do everything in your power to delete those chars. Take a hammer to the hardrive if you have to show him how serious you are, and I’m not kidding. Would you prefer a 2500$ computer to a lifelong marraige ? The comparison is preposterous.
Convince him that deleting his chars feels AWESOME (it truly does, it’s like a shower for the soul). The hard part is admitting that all those hours went towards a big “delete”, but tell him that it was about the journey, not the destination. Half the reason a lot of hardcore players keep at it so hardcore is because they refuse to admit that all that hard work didn’t have a finale – well, what other possible finale can there be when the characters will exist permanently until you either run their comp over with the truck or the delete them ?
They can be brought back to reality, I was one of them, and without going into details, there was pure horror involved.
Also, it helps to mention that they don’t have to stop playing so long as they admit they’re a noob, and give up the hardcore. I share a dwarf priest with my fiancee now, and its a riot. She’ll subtly sabotage him in a wedding dress before I log on, which usually results in some merciless tickling.
There is hope, and divorces and drama are simply not the answer. They’re not addicted, no matter what it looks like, or what they say.
Good luck !
Ex Tier 1-3 Epic noob:
Twisting Nether
60 Pally
60 Mage
60 Priest
Thorium Brotherhood
60 Lock
60 Shammy
60 Hunter
60 Warrior x2
60 Rogue
Current 2 month old noob shared with the love of my life
The Venture Co.
16 Priest “Vil”
Oddly, as I read through all this stuff…I can only think back to the stand-ups of the late Sam Kinison. And now I see here two to three of the many bajillion reasons he said not to get married.
I play WOW recreationally. My wife actually plays more than I do but we have a pretty healthy relationship.
That said, if your SO (be it man or woman) is playing too much of WOW or too much of anything, then it’s time to get out of the relationship.
If you’re compromising yourself to be with that person to that kind of extant, then your are a fool.
STFU and move on with your life and stop whining! Do you honestly think that it’s WOW’s/Blizzard’s fault that your SO is not paying attention to you? It’s not. WOW is a game, plain and simple. If your SO is not putting the time into the relationship that’s needed it’s one or more of the following.
They already had a seriously addictive personality and anything could have set it off from a game to drugs
They can’t handle reality very well and use the game as escapism (like drugs)
They feel their SO is not interesting, and even though they beg and plead for you to stay because they “Love you” they are too stupid to actually know what love is…
You are overbearing in the relationship and they use the game as a frustration outlet
You have your own issues
STFU and move on!
/sheesh
/lvl 60 tauren shaman married to a lvl 60 Undead priest
//Works 45-55 hours a week, still games, still spanks her ass in bed and out
///Bends her over the kitchen table (or anywhere that’s handy) and takes her for a ride anytime I fancy (or she does)
You bending your pear shaped priest over a table isn’t something I really needed to read dude……..
Bildo, my wife is 5’11 and a 120 pounds, hardly pear shaped…LOL… And a damn hottie to boot…(I will rue the day she becomes lazy about excercise)
I have a 16 year old son who soon will be 17. if youve seen the episode of south parks wow, that is my son. He sits up in his room every waking hour while hes not in school playing wow. Hes given up most his social life and has failed two core classes in school. We have discussed him playing to much he agrees its gotten out of hand. but still the obsession is controlling and even shapping his future. I will be setting up parental controlls because he has lost controll. Hopefully he wont threaten to kill him self cause he cant play or tourcher me to the point where I committ a violent parental rath. I guess it s good hes not on drugs, but this game is definatley an addicton.
I used to play. Had a few lvl 60’s. My only requirement that I asked my wife was that 9 hours a week (3 hours a might 3 nights a week) I be left alone to do raids. Wasn’t good enough for her I guess. So I quit. She is happy. I sit here bored off my mind. “Come spend time with me.” Sorry. Watching Popularity Island isn’t very stimulating, Ill just goto bed. On the weekends, “come with me to my moms” nope sorry. Not gonna go sit there and be stuck with no one to talk to and nothing but a TV to try to take my mind off walking home the 30 miles just to have something to do.
Then again, I could become an alcoholic. Doesn’t take time away from her, and Im not on the computer. Maybe that will make her happy. Its a plan.
Also to add that alot of people (coworkers mostly) told me that I needed to quit playing and “get a life.” Their definition of a life is out drinking 4 nights a week with $50+ bar tabs and talking to people who then they complain about (women are really bad about this) while they are out of the room, then be all buddy buddy with when they come back in. Heh. Some life. Enjoy it.
/just remember that some addictions are worse than others. Would you rather have your husbands/sons playing games in their rooms, or out drinking. Sit….get out of shape? Or sit….get out of shape, and liver rots away. Its a bit extreme, but valid.
Obbsession is a funny thing. I play wow, but not obsessively (that may change for a month or two on the 16th January when The Burning Crusade comes out – watch out WOW Widows!)
I’m with you Widows. It really is not nessessary to play the hours that I’ve read here. Your rate of progression as a WOW player really does not have to be that fast! I know cos I’ve played, the addiction of going raiding to try to maybe possibly get another piece of that armour set that will make you that tiny bit better…but is it really that worth it?
Ladies if you want to keep your men then I suggest one of two things…either get him to leave his guild – this will reduce the pressure of other gamers in his guild to make him play extended hours. Get him to research into finding a much more chilled guild that raid like twice a week or something, and who don’t demand he is on for 24/7.
Two: If that fails, then get control of the wow account. You have to pay to play this game, and if you can threaten to delete his account and character(s), I think you will find you will gain his attention, but be wary – this could lead to physical violence if they are a mental ass, which in my opinion warrants you to leave him because any loser that resorts to violence over something like this shouldn’t be allowed to breed and thus allowed to infect the human race with his genes.
Haha. Go get real “widows”. How about dropping 200pounds, get in the shower once in a while and act like a normal person, not the “I HAVE TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS ALL NIGHT CUZ THAT IS SO FUCKIN COOL!” person. Please. I`m sure most of the guys here just want you to leave them, as my girlfriend did to me. I do not give a shit, I play the came cuz I enjoy it. Maby more than a girlfriend. Because WoW never argues, never has a periode, never demands, never blows away all your money and it NEVER nagg you for being a “loser”.
You will go down in history Scat as.. as.. uh.. oh that’s right, you wont be remembered at all.
But if you’re happy with that, continue on your fake fantasy.
Ive read through most of the accounts and have had feelings of pity thru confussion. I believe that some married a person for the wrong qualities. I made sure that when I picked my SO that that person would fit my personality. That said, we’re both gamers and are both happilly married.
We take turns in doing the chores around the house, including laundry, dishes (which I do almost exclusively – happily btw) and dinner (which she does as much as I do dishes), feed the critters (split 50-50), take out the trash (me), and go out – atleast once a week for dinner and movie, or other event (last week was her favorite comedian, George Carlin, in which I almost died laughing).
We both work things out so that chores around the house get done, and we have time to play. We play an average of 30-40 hours a week. We dont have kids (parents with kids, my heart goes out to you because I know its tougher – this doesnt apply to you).
We arent in a hardcore guild, yet we raid about 3 times a week (up to 4 on some weeks). We enjoy our gaming lives, we are proud of the content our characters have conquered, and we are constantly tyring to make the character we have better. These things dont take away from our lives – it adds to it. Why? Because we feel its a hobby that keeps our minds off of the daily grind, and serves as therapy from the shit that goes on at work and our real lives (everyone gets some shit.)
Imagine that. The game serves as therapy to players.
Im still reflecting on a lot of the comments, so I cant say that all of you who are against gaming are wrong. Some cases are downright neglect and abuse of spouses. The wife who cant get the husband to do her?? Excuse me?? Did I read that right? … Ill drop whatever it is to give it to my wife. Most of the time however its not my wife who readily wants it. She says she needs to get worked up, and in a way I can understand the same. Hell if most sex with her started with her giving me a blowie Id say we’d be doing it like bunnies. Sometimes its not like that. (I give her a steady amount of head btw, fyi).
One wife who plays with her husband said something that rings true to me: Why is it that the man is expected to initiate everything with the wife? Most wifes dodge this question I think in part due to laziness, something which society has deemed normal. Yet men and women both desire sex. OK… ? Im not talking about going to bed naked and expecting your husband to know that thats his queue. Im talking about rubbing him or start giving him a blowie …
Some might think this is too crazy, and dare not do it out of fear of rejection, but face it. Men feel this way almost everytime they initiate something and are let down. They give up eventually.
Ive learned to give my wife space when shes not in the mood, and respect that. I relieve myself, and she wont be mad about it.
Ill digress, some might find my talking about this a little off topic, but I feel it all relates to the relationship – which is what this forums about.
Ill restate (like another poster did – on the other side of aisle) what Ive said again. Parents this does not apply to you. Your attention should be directed at the kids, not a game. Its hard enough to have time at the end of the day after putting them to sleep to get yourselves ‘some.’
But to you couples who havent gotten married, or who are married and arent currently with kids, theres a very clear solution to this. Its put up or put out. Simple as that.
Some might be waiting around to find out if the games more fun then you. Ill give you the answer to that now: IT IS. Get over it.
Is it more important? Hell no. Its more fun. Its NOT more important. Its more fun.
Id rather have romantic hot sex with my wife, ripping her a new one then be raiding. But the truth of the matter is, shes not always ready for that. Sometimes shes raiding and Im bored with the game atm, so I face the fact that shes enjoying herself, feel glad that shes next to me, and I go and find some other preoccupation (and its not TV – I rarely watch it). Last night, it was laundry.
Point is, relationships are a matter of give and take. Some of you who have found partners perhaps are in the wrong relationships, because if your not allowing the SO their take time youve got an issue with control. Or, alternatively, if the person your with is taking too much, its time to give them an ultimatum, and enforce it fully, even if it means breaking up with the person.
Heres a good luck to you all!
Steve Jobs, saying I doubt it is you, I will still pretend it is you. What makes you so damn special? Designing half gay computers overpriced and sleeping with Intel just to make even more money? Making a OS with an underlying Unix platform because even Microsoft can do better than you and code their own thing?
And how do you know I will not go down in history? For all you know, I can be a famous open-source coder maintaining the patches for PPC.
But sure, be my guest. Go cry in a corner with these bitches, and support their crusade on the male part of the human race.
Scat i can imagine you as been a sad little loner who only as online friends not saying there anything wrong with online friends but you need real friends…and when your saying all this like you dont give a shit….mayb in months or years to come when u do actually grow up and start to give a shit u wil have no-1 because you fuked them all off for a computer game and said you didnt give a shit.
ive talked about my bf and him been on WoW furthure up the page…but when i read the things you put…my bf is not bad at all! at least he does act like he cares and would give a shit if i left him! unlike u selfcentered twat!
hey everyone…sorry about that first bit…but i just can not cope with idiotic people like that.
anywayz if you read my comments above u wil see what i have been going through.
i had a really good talk with my bf and told him bout all the sites id been on about WoW and everything and said im gettin to stage where i dont want to be with you anymore….and things have slightly changed….he still goes on WoW…but now when i go upto his he finishes off what he is doind on WoW and comes off and doesnt log back on til im ready for going home or til ive gone so things have got better for me.
i think its got better because ive stook by him and i havnt left him…even tho i really wanted to…and me stiking by him i think as made him realise that i do really love him and things like that because he has started to apreciate me more and we have been getting on alot better and things are looking up!
im really happy now…and in for a great christmas if things carry on the way they are now!
the advice id like to give people who are going thro the same as me is….tell your partners how u realy feel dont b scared to tell them and stick by them as long as you can until u carnt take anymore im not saying stick by them forever stick by them until u feel u carnt any longer and if you do that and just talk and tell them how u really feel and what u want them to do it may take more than once but it worked for me and i really hope it works for you too! 🙂 if you wana talk just post a comment on ere!
kim x
move up side and let the mango through..
I play Wow…I hold a better than average job with one of the most well known companies on the planet. I have a beautiful wife…wonderful children…nice home…a great dog…the works. I play Wow every chance I get when Im at home with nothing to do. It beats the hell out of watching T.V. Watching T.V. you are force fed mindless crap and have no mental participation at all thatamounts to everything. Playing Wow takes atleast some thought and use of problem solving skills. Every once in a while my wife will make a comment and to prove a point I’ll get off and go sit on the coach in front of the T.V. literaly 10 feet away from where I sit on the computer. She has no problem with that. I say then.. Whats the difference? There is none. I can sit in one place or the other with my mind fixed on one thing or the other…..no difference. It’s not like if the house begins to burn down I’ll just go down with the ship in either position. I tell my wife it’s a man thing. Men are by nature attracted to electronics and gadgets and things of this nature. I also tell her like im going to tell every nagging women on this post saying..” He doesnt pay attention to me!!!!” IF THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IS YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND PLAYING A GAME ON THE COMPUTER…THEN YOU HAVE IT MADE!!!!! Just ask the girl who cught her husband cheating on her or the women who’s husband never comes home from the bars. Most men need some sort of break from reality whether the hunt, fish, play golf, play Wow whatever. If your man is playing Wow…just be glad he’s at home and not off smoking crack or doing a keg stand somewheres with some cheap Jessica Simpson wannabe. It could be worse….much worse than playing Wow.
OMG… if a guy wants to play WoW rather than spend time with his gf or wife.. then he probly wouldnt care if you broke up with him either.. i play WoW, i have a gf… i know when to give attention and when it is ok to play… so get the clue.. maybe your not entertaining… maybe your not ment to be with that person.. this is the stupidest duscussion forum i have ever seen… boo fuckin hoo.. you lost your boyfriend, you lost your husband… well.. if he would rather play a video game than spend time with you, then im gonna go ahead and make an assume that you are just boring as shit… thank you, and have a wonderful day.
My boyfriend plays wow and i like it cuz i get to go out and do my own shit .All you little slutbags out there should build a bridge an get the fuck over it …its a game ffs as long as i get some meat in my sandwich at the end of the day im happy so do yourselves a favour get of the damn computer so ya man can play wow and go cook him some god damn eggs!
And at 12 years of age you have all that wisdom???
Gee what have we been doing??? Just working, housekeeping, looking after the kids. Shit we should be happy to do all that as long as we get a bit of smelly cock “at the end of the day”, cause fuck knows they are too busy playing to shower, brush their teeth etc etc…
i agree kate 😀
dnt comment if you havnt a clue wot ur on about…..and your just going to put imature comments :@
My man plays warcraft like its going out of style. And yeah, I wouldnt mind a couple hours. But its to the point where a couple hours is something that is hard to come by these days. Its more like 6 and up, daily. and on the days where he doesnt play his game that much, he’s off doing other things like watching a fantasy movie, looking up WoW sites…I cant stand it anymore. And yeah Another Kate, i get sex. After a maraton of WoW. That really feels romantic. And then he gets back on. I’d rather not have it. Its to the point that I think I am going to end up leaving him. Theres nothing left of us. Its WoW, WOW WOW. I get breaks here and there for 10 mins or so. But i think i deserve more than that. Right?
Ok, so……
all the women keep saying the same thing, that their bf/husbands play the game too much blah blah blah…. maybe u should have realized that ur bf/husband was a hardcore gamer b4 u got with them instead of thinking u can change them…. its not gonna happen… they will play video games till they grow out of it so here is a thought, next time u meet a guy that plays video games, leave him for a gal that plays video games…. a relationship will always have problems if one is a gamer and the other is not…. go for someone that shares the same interests….
my husband and i both play WoW, I was the one that got him into it and now he loves it…
we dont really fight about it either… and yes i do have RL friends and i always put them and my family first… which is one thing that these women are saying that i agree with…
If you start turning down your RL friends and family so that u can raid or pvp, then u do have a problem… seek help imo….
you know, when i first started dating my man, he only played for 2-3 hours. and im cool with that. i can watch my shows, movies, go shopping, do anything by myself for that long. cool. However, after the course of one year, they playing time evolved in to 4-10 hours. thats too much, sweetheart. If you work 8 hrs a day and come home and average another 8 hours then you have a problem. OK? If he is gonna sit in front of a computer for the length of one working day, and ignore the fuck out of me, he damn well better getting paid!!! Come on people. I know all of you little WOW players come here and read these actual post by actual women ( and men!) that are trying to make sense of it all and vent about their loved one addiction; give me an answer: WHY THE HELL CAN YOU SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT ON YOUR EFFING PC AND NOT SPEND 10 MINUTES WITH ME W/O BITCHING??!! We’ve offered to leave their sorry asses, we’ve even psudo-left them. And each time we get an apology and 1-2 days of dramatically decreased game time ( not that they would actually be sweet and loving and stop playing for a day or two..) and told ‘how much we are loved’ and coaxed back in. Its a maze. And I’m not a fucking mouse. I’m sick of it. Here it is Christmas and my man has reduced me to tears because he woulndt get off his game for a bit. It took me crying and packing my stuff to get him off. Then he acted like he wasnt doing anything wrong. I’m the bitch. I’m done.
God damit! I see “It is cool, I get to see my shows, shopping and do my shit”. WHAT if your guy did not play WoW, and you still wanted to do “your shit” girls? What then, if he demanded attention EVERY FUCKIN second of the day? Why is tv and shopping so fuckin much better?
And for the guy who thinks I am a loser. I have a great familiy, I am soon done with my grade in computerscience and I got a girl. I take care of my old grandma as much as possible, I do voulnterywork etc. Also I play WoW, and I function.
So stfu and just love your man for what he is. The girls who post here are the same girls who wanted to ban rock&roll and violent movies. Get a fuckin life wich will keep you from spending all your time here.
all the women keep saying the same thing, that their bf/husbands play the game too much blah blah blah. maybe u should have realized that ur bf/husband was a hardcore gamer b4 u got with them instead of thinking u can change them … its not gonna happen.
And if they weren’t gamers when you met them????? And you actually want the partner that they were before games???
God damit! I see ‘It is cool, I get to see my shows, shopping and do my shit’. WHAT if your guy did not play WoW, and you still wanted to do ‘your shit’ girls? What then, if he demanded attention EVERY FUCKIN second of the day? Why is tv and shopping so fuckin much better?
We don’t want them every second of the day!!!!! Don’t you guys get it?????
We are talking about guys that game 10-18 hours a day and they have FAMILIES!!! We are not talking casual gamers that are only responsible for themselves. We are talking about men that ignore their children, their jobs, their responsibilities…..not fucken casual gamers or even people that play alot and yet still make sure all of their responsilbilties are handled first.
Gaming is FINE!!!! I let my sons game…….if all their other homework, chores are done first.
Its like someone that smokes cones on a social basis and someone that is so off their tits all day every day that they can’t function or they choose not to.
We widows are not anti-gaming, we don’t want our men every second of every day. But if we are a family and they have kids then they need to do their share too and not leave it up to their spouse. Most women work a 40 hour week too. Most women need to relax as well, most women need to only look after 2 kids, not 3 (their s/o).
We are not talking 18-26 yr old guys, living at home doing what they please. These guys can. Good on them. But if you have a family and you choose to be there then be there.
Do you guys get it now????
No, I dont. And here is why. If the man you loved became an alcoholic or a drug addict, you would stand by him and try to help him, even tough he would refuse help would you keep fighting. No matter how tierd you got or how hopeless you felt, you would go on. Because if you do half of the thing in the home you claim to, that fight would be a walk in the park for you. And you would not stop until you had helped him out of his WoW addiction, because THAT is what true love is.
You say they try to keep you when you try to run away? That is an addict trying to keep the one he loves the most. Maby you girls should think about this part too, and ask yourself if your love really is as strong as life long love is. Because I know for sure, if anything bad happened to my girl I would fucking fight the entire world if that was what it took, not make some crappy “Days of our Lives – whinewhine” site.
And remember, it is ALWAYS easier to run and let someone else take the fall.
Naw dude. The guys got kids. Its not the same as you both have brought new life into the world. Kids = less time for yourself being that they need a lot of help in those first few years. Theres a possibillity that after putting them to bed you could have some alone time for like 1 hour or so, but even then, its not enough time to raid.
And its not as easy to just say to the complaining SOs: ‘just leave them.’ Its a different ball game is what Im saying.
To the guy who asked why shopping and “shit” was better:
Anything, if done in excess is bad. If I shopped 8 hours a day every day I’d be called a shopping addict. If I drank, did drugs, was at strip joints, played sports, waxed my car, watched tv, or did ANYTHING for 8-10 hours a day I would be labled as an addict, and would expect to have an annoyed SO. Moderation is key. We don’t demand to be glued to you 24 hours a day. We just ask that you aren’t glued to your Pally non stop. Give us some attention too.
I have been reading everyone’s posts and contiplating on whether I want to become part of the discussion or not. My husband of 12 years has been playing Warcraft since the beginning of the summer. Like the majority of the other “widows”, I too am frustrated with this game. Is my marriage really going to end because of this damn game? Very possible. We have 2 children together, ages 11 & 6, who have actually made several comments that dad is no longer “around”. My children and I pretty much live our life without my husband in the picture. So many times I have tried to get him involved with us, but apparently, we are no longer a priority. It’s sad, but so very true. I have tried to have serious conversations with him about how much this upsets me and the kids, but after a week of being “good”, we are back to the same routine. I can only have this conversation so many times and I’m tired of hearing like a broken record. This man goes to work, comes home and sits at the computer. He even eat’s his breakfast, lunch and dinners there…it’s just me and the kids at the dinner table. He puts his head phones on so he can chat with his buddies while they all go on raids. Forget having any type of conversation and I have stopped trying to communicate. He has no clue what is going on in his children’s lives and the only reason he misses me when I’m gone is because he actually has to make his own meals! I’m starting to think that if I’m going to be a single mom, which is what I am, I might as well have one less “CHILD” to pick up after. However, I don’t want to be another statistic and divorced, but I don’t know what else to do. I have tried to get involved with the game and be enthusiastic about it, but I can’t play it because someone in this house has to be a parent. I’ve seen what this game has done to my husband and God forbid, I turn out like him. The kids would be raising themselves!!! Someone has to take care of the family and the house and the kids, it’s obviously not going to be him anymore and hasn’t been for awhile. Anyways~I’m not sure why I am posting all of this except to vent and get this off my chest. I have no one to talk to that understands and I have connected with the stories on this site. Thanks for listening anyways…MJ
I see now, its not WoW it is something wrong with, its the husbands of those posting here. Dump em, and get yourself a real man. Someone who can play both WoW and have a life and take his turn of things in the home.
Also, maby you should tell their mother!
I can whole heartedly sympathise with everyone who is worried about WoW – this Christmas was the first time we had been on our own in our new house, and I saw him for approximately two hours over Christmas Eve, Day and boxing day. The day after boxing day I stomped out of the house in disgust. This is a man who loves Christmas and he just ‘wasnt there’. He comes out to eat, goes back in. He’s off for two more days than me after Christmas and I know exactly what he’s doing, playing the game. This is aggravating problems that already exist in our relationship, and I do feel that if he wanted to spend time with me, he would and it would not be a sacrifice. This is not the way I want to live my life, and there is only so much time I can deal with this before it will finish things between us. Because we already have problems I cannot help but think this is his escapism and not wanting to face up to reality, and that to me means it’s over. Because he knows that WoW is an issue, he won’t discuss it and rarely opens up about existing problems and I admittedly am getting past the point of caring.
I hope you guys had a better Christmas than me and here’s to better times for the New Year!!
You know, i never really got into that who WOW thing. i played it for like a month, it was okay, but having sex with my woman is 1000 times better. Guys, if you want better things out of life, gain some exp points in the sack and not on your dumb ass alienware. Oh yea, and go outside and work out a bit, jesus.
And another thing, if you have kids and play this game, shame on you. Imagine yourself in their shoes. Better idea, play a game they like, spend time with them, not only will you have more fun, you wont have to get a divorce…..haha. And as far as you guys complaining about what women want to do, grow the fuck up. People are different, sexes are different. You wow addicts take the world of losers to a new extreme. I am a professional athlete, so i dont really have alot of time for games anyways. I have to spend alot of time away from my family, and thats hard enough as it is. If you guys would sit back and realise that not everyone is interested in your cute little colorful game, maybe you could make some real money instead of auctioning fake cute swords. Sorry if i ramble too long. If i hear anyone in public talking about wow, ill throw a 75lb dumbell and crush their worhtless face, grr haha.
It is true..I have heard of this site…I only play WOW occasionally…one month on…two months off…but ya…I love the venting your girls have on here. If you really do want your husband or b/f to get off the game…make his real life more appealing than this game. I’m single right now because I’m in the military so I don’t feel it a good time to settle down yet. Also I play because this is a wicked way to save money right now. So good luck to all u widows out there due to WOW and hopefully u can revive your husbands or b/fs back to reality. Peace Out!
oh ya…Derek…get off the roids…we don’t need you….in fact…no one does..lol
Scat: I am not a shopping girl. I do not loooove going to the mall, watching boring tv all the time and doing mundane things like grocery shopping, painting my nails, and getting pedicures. I love going to concerts, rock concerts. I love going the bar for a couple of drinks. I love having sex. Hell, I love watching sports. I also like to play video games. Me and my old man used to do these things often. Then he came home and played for a couple of hours. Fine. But now these thing have stopped. I havent stopped doing them, but now I have to go by myself. So let me get this right, I have heard from you AND my old man that if he gets off his game for good, hes gonna go down to the bar and become and alchoholic and beat me all the time? Is this what I want? Cant you be at least a tiny bit mature and think of another activity other than being an alchoholic? Couldnt we bring it down a notch and say…maybe just do other things in you will be interacting with a real live person made up of atoms and proteins? Not some cyber pal that you cant even see? Tell me: what is WOW giving back to them? Is WoW cooking their meals? Is WOW making sure all their clothes are clean for work? Is WoW giving them blowjobs even? No. It gives nothing back and takes everything in return. MJ, I feel ya girl. You want to leave, but without actually leaving him? You know that you could be waaay happier, but wonder how you could be happier really without the love of your life by your side? Is he the one, but just needs to be helped out? The real reason, ladies, that we cant or havent or dont want to leave our men right now: It would hurt like hell to leave and then realize that he could care less. Or even be happy that he can spend more time with something not real. Being passed up for something non-existant. Realizing that our time was wasted for so long.
my husband has played games for so long and so often that the person he has become disgust me so badly i think im becoming a lesbian. I really almost cant stand to look at men anymore b/c i think they’re all the same.
Ladies, 2 really good sites to vent.
Widows, try these good sites.
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/
and this
http://www.gamerwidow.com/
Fantastic people that understand.
Derek : Haha, you take inbreeded moron to the new level. “If i hear anyone in public talking about wow, ill throw a 75lb dumbell and crush their worthless face, grr haha.” Haha, I would love to see you do that, carrying it around where ever you are? No one care about you being a professional athlete either, still you go on about it here, as if it makes you any better, twat.
75… amazing. I used to get paid to play computer games, REAL money.
And you are away from your family alot? Why is your reason better than a WoW gamer? I do not see why. I see they guy who stole lunch money from small kids in school. I see the guy who sees turning on a computer a huge obstacle in using it.
So just let people do their thing. Maby some girls feel their men play to much, but who are you to come here barking like some testosterone filled dog? Just chill.
i am a ex WoW player, played for a year and am taking a 2 month break. for those of the mothers that say that they’re children have no social life while playing WoW, thats wrong… i have many friends on WoW and not just people i dont know in RL i know where they live, how old they are, what they look like, their interests and many other WoW players have the same thing. theres a book called “The Battle for Azeroth” by Bill Fawcett, go to a book store and read it. it has lots of info on the game and about the players. i play WoW and agree that many people do get out of hand with it and if they play the game and fail classes and stuff then they should take it easy. but if u want them to stop just because they “have no social life” is wrong. this is just my view
Oh yah, turns out that my ex really was cheating with a dude she met on WoW. They ran off together and got married in August. She’s 30, he’s 22 and now in ridiculous debt: $4k on the wedding ring, built a brand new house, been working less than a year.
She still wouldn’t break up with me until that time either. She kept me on the backburner as a back-up plan so she didn’t “make a mistake she’d regret the rest of her life”.
When it finally came time for her to tell me she wasn’t coming back (around her wedding date), she still denied she was with anybody. She started prank calling me 4 times a day the whole month of september. I changed my number and she exposed herself as being the caller. She even called me from hubby’s home town in Michigan.
Long story short, I let someone with some very serious mental problems really hurt me & almost drive me crazy. The other guy really did me a huge favor. I know i wouldn’t have been happy if he’d have never come along.
I may or may not have another gamer chick in the future. I’m a pretty casual gamer eventhough I like reading the trade magazines. I’d rather date a gym rat & personal trainer, as I’d enjoy that time spent together much more.
I think the game’s partially to blame, because it’s geared to snag people with addictive personalities; but I think the main responsibility lies with the person who’s got the addictive personality in the first place.
Honestly, is this someone to whom you want to hand that much power over your happiness?
I hate the idea of divorce, especially when kids are involved, but I don’t think kids should have to suffer an addict for a father.
To the pro-WoW folks: ultimately you’re right, there are other problems there & they should just leave if it’s that big a problem. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy when your head says to do one thing and your heart wants something completely different.
Hang tough ladies, it’ll get better. 🙂
I am done with WOW im going fishing wasted 2 years on everquest 1 month on wow never had relationship problems bit of advise to gamers GET BACK to the GARDEN peace out
I love WoW but boobies are better.
I wouldnt give up one for the other. But I am sure I could shut it off long enough to get my nob all shiny
woot woot
Warlocks forever
WOW is a sad sad thing. I feel for all the spouses of WOW. I have spent 1.5 yrs fighting with my husband over it….and will probably continue for another 20 at this rate. And it’s only going to get worse beginning Jan. 16!
lol Jeramy, the ‘military guy’ showed me this site before he got his new time card, and we were having a good laugh about the people that play warcraft to the point of ‘life problems’…well Jeramy has had his new card for a week or so now, and I can no longer get a hold of him…its been days..lol Im posting on here cuz you never know, maybe he will see it and remember me….I used to date a hard core gamer..it was sad..he stopped going to school and cooking me food, and he let our laundry build up so bad…we broke our laundry cart with overload on the way to the laundry mat…and the whole time we were there (5 hours=6 giant bags of laundry) he was itching to get home to the computer or xbox to play whatever stupid game he was into…the day we bought an xbox was the day my engagment was ended wit hme, and the diamond ring was given to the Box…if it had a vagina it would have been his perfect woman…he told me it didnt talk back or get mad…i dont think he noticed me leaving forever… sad sad…so here I am, on this sad/halarious site, trying to get in contact with my friend..im kind of worried cuz me and Jeremy talk everyday, and well, hes MIA…and not in the military sence….
When I called him to say happy new years, he sounded pretty sick, and i woke him up at 1.00pm..i just figured he got drunk like most people…no he was up for days playing warcraft…and it was actually making him feel sick LOL..ohh man…i dont think he even visited his family for the holidays, as he was trying to get a horse in the game or something..well hunny u told me o post somethign so i found this appropiate..i hope u read this..its your bday next weekend ad i hope we can still get out for the occasion, batteries not included!!
xo
Niki
Kudos to everyone who has opened up and expressed their feelings to us all. I Just want to say something to all the Wow widows out there….Thank you, Seriously if i havent come across this site in google while trying to find a song im obssesed with..i never would have realised how world of warcraft has its grips on life. I Play wow occaisonally because i have to continue my studies and whenever i would come home from school, i would promise myself im going to read my novel after this quest,time flies by and before i know it 6 hours have passed by. It is quite addictive and to me “a total waste of time”. Somedays i would lie to my gf telling her i cant meet up with her because im busy(playing wow) but after reading all these posts i have come to a realization that this game might be something i would regret in the future. So from now on im quitting wow…forever! and i have to thank all you people for showing me the deadly after effects of MMORGS…my gf still doesnt know about wow 😉 and never will:D
Once agian thank you
Dave c
hi Dave/and other people interested
think its really good wot you have realised and im really pleased your gf hasnt had to go through some of the (excuse the pun) ‘crap’ some of us gf have been put thro.
my bf is a gamer and goes on the game all the time if you read all the comments u wud have seen some of mine at the very top.
but where getting there now….he still goes on WoW but he comes off when i go up…and if he isnt awake when i go up when he does get up he goes on WoW for about a nour but i dnt mind because then he comes off n spends time with me…he still sometimes bores me with some of his stories about WoW and the things he needs to level up and other things but ive realised he has stopped going on it as much as he used to….and id rather him tell me things than be sat at the computer playing it so i learn to listen and act interested and where doing fine now…and WoW doesnt bother me that much anymore theres stil times when it can really annoy me but thats only the odd time if im in a strop or if he does try to push it abit but we talk to each other now and things are gr8 😀
its made me really happy to find out u have realised before its too late 😀 hope you and your gf are very happy.
hope you had a nice new year and a very merry christmas 🙂
kim x
I am married to a gamer an we are having the standard issues of game play vs time spent on home and family
I just would like to know if there is a time log on the game. Can I have my other half log on and go somewhere to see how much time has been spend on line that day or that week ?