Meanwhile, back in World of Warcraft …

So, I think we can all agree that I’m guilded with a bunch of nitwits. The following is further evidence.

Few weeks back, one of the guildmates /tells me in game that I might want to check out the security on our guild message boards because one of our former guild members apparently has full access to the private guild areas. (Recall that I was volunteered to administer our guild “web presence” as no one else was willing to take that thankless job.)

This was me: How?

Him: Looks like they’re using a current member’s login info.

Me: Who is using whose login?

Him: I don’t wanna say.

Me: Then what do we have to talk about?

I can’t tell you how sick I am of guildmates making serious accusations against guildmates, then refusing to name the offenders cuz that’s being a tattletale. Jesus, man up and point your finger, otherwise don’t bother me.

We danced around for a few days, with me promising anonymity and him playing hard to get, until finally he emails some screenshots of the private boards with the identifying information NOT redacted. F’ing finally.

Because I’m well aware of Photoshop magic, I went to the server logs to snoop around a bit and get the goods on the guildmate who was playing fast and loose with our access and privacy.

The former guildmember: BabbleOn (she of previous drama: Part I and Part II) and the guildmate who shared his login info with her, for some UNKNOWN reason that I will never understand unless it involved sex and that’s an even scarier thought: Med School Warlock, one of our frequent cyber-ors.

Let me pause here to say: Med School, my ass. I think people going to med school have to … oh, I don’t know … LOG OUT every once in a while to go to class. Aren’t there internships and residencies involved with many, many hours required? They let that guy become a licensed physician and I’m staying the fuck out of his state for the rest of my life.

He’s so full of shit, I can’t believe anyone would buy his story, and yet, I know of three who have. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Obviously, I’m not a fan of Dr. Cyber.

So, I have the goods on the would-be doctor, I rat him out to the officers, and they decide to have a talk with him after the night’s raids. (So you’ll understand the magnitude of the indiscretion here: BabbleOn and the Dr. are not married in real life, or in game, they don’t live together, they’re not relatives, they’re not neighbors, I didn’t even know they were friends, or more, prior to this.)

Well, funny thing happened on the way to the interrogation room, Dr. Cyber took matters into his own hands and /gquit. Man, I was disappointed. I was hoping to see him squirm. I love the squirm. Alas and alack, no squirm in /gu chat.

All he said before the /gquit was something about disagreeing with the direction of the guild, (psst, that’s code for “I want more loot”), he /gquit, and then he joined the fourth Guild That Hates My Guild on the server — newly formed of about a dozen guildmates who also disagreed with the “direction of the guild”.

I was incredibly disappointed about missing out on the public squirm. The way I saw it, that didn’t mean I couldn’t see some private squirming. So I /told him something like, “Good luck with your new guild over there. Saved us the trouble of booting your ass for giving out your forum login information to former guildmates.”

His response: Huh?

Was I unclear in some way? Was that not English?

Him: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Me: I heard you gave out your forum login info to *BabbleOn*.

Him: You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.

Me: I know, that’s why I checked the server logs. (Oh snap!)

Now the conversation can be over at this point — I got my pound of flesh, I got to see a little squirming, I’m done. We can move on now. BUT NOOOO. Dr. C thought he could outflank me. He complained to his small group of “fans” still in the guild that I was being a prick about things, and one of his “friends” gets in my face about it in Ventrilo.

How fucking dare I?? (Oh, I fucking dare.) What’s my f’ing problem? (I have one less problem now.) That was so over the line, uncalled for! (Me? or him?)

And even though the one guy was literally screaming at me, I calmly explained, privately, what Dr. C had done and how I knew this to be truth, not just rumor and speculation, and I read back exactly what I had typed so there would be no misunderstanding.

This is how much of a nitwit I am, I thought that would stop the screaming.

Back in the public Ventrilo channel, the “friend” continued to insist that I apologize to Dr. Cyber, and a few other “friends” joined in, also demanding this apology that will never happen. Publically, all I would say was that Dr. C had made an error in judgment, I had called him on it, end of story.

I didn’t need to scorch the earth, I had my pound of flesh. This additional squirming was really unnecessary, but was entertaining nonetheless.

The next day, they were STILL screaming at me, textually — this time on our message boards. I treated their “friend” badly, what an asshole I am, bla bla.

Here’s what I thought: what a fucking crybaby. Here’s what I wrote: Dr. C made an error in judgment, I called him on it, end of story.

This is what I think now: That sonuvabitch must be running some kind of cyber VOODOO to inspire that kind of loyalty. Or, he’s telling some pretty tall tales to his inner circle. (Well, same thing.)

I’ll bet he’s doing the “I’m so shy and lonely in real life” spiel.

UNLESS.

Unlesssss. Unless he’s working a “I’m so shy and lonely and VULNERABLE in real life” routine. Throw in a thing or two about his (imaginary) fiance of two years cheating on him … right before med school graduation … and here’s a pic of him next to his (mom’s) Corvette, and suddenly, he’s got himself a harem.

And I’ll explain to you, just as I explained to his minions: When you give me your righteous indignation act, you really ought to be RIGHT before you get indignant.