Fireworks

Lunar FireworksToday is the best holiday of the year for the Americans in your guild so if they skip the raid tonight and show up tomorrow hung over, complaining of sunburn and missing fingers, take it easy on them. To be precise, I mean the United States Americans in your guild, because as some guild wiseass pointed out to me, technically, Canadians and Mexicans are Americans also.

Anyways, nomenclature arguments aside, here’s a few updates.

1. I’ve decided that my World of Warcraft guild is really hazardous to real-life marriages. Three marriages blown to pieces in two years, one just recently which is why I’m wondering wtf. Is our guild culture or the game to blame or are people in bad marriages just naturally attracted to the guild? Wish I knew as it’s incredibly disruptive when there’s a divorce in-guild. I don’t like disruptions — bad for loot.

2. Tortheldrin is a dying server, or so says realm resident Horrigan:

Tortheldrin is dying. A server that opened up with Burning Crusade currently has less than 20 people on (For the Alliance) at PRIME TIME. Unless Blizzard opens up free transfers from other high, over populated servers, or merges our server with another Tortheldrin is simply going to become a ghost town.

That’s not dying, that’s dead. Even on my server, we’re fighting tooth and nail over every priest that was ever created, I can just imagine the demands a priest could make on Tortheldrin. Hell, maybe even the rogues and hunters are making demands.

3. Emailer Shadowbunny found a wonderful World of Warcraft story from the Windrunner realm. Myearzitch, level 70 warlock, created a mangina alt for sport, as he explained:

As most of you may know, I transferred servers. Well on this server I made a female character to level up for the fun of it. The reason I made it female was just to mix things up a little bit and see if I could get away with it without people catching on.

Here’s where the problem lies. I met a guy yesterday and we played in the same group for like three hours. One thing led to another and now I’m sort of his girlfriend. …Yeah. I’m not sure why I let it go this far – possibly because of a desire to see how far I could take it (and I didn’t want to blow my cover), possibly because I wanted to screw with his mind, and possibly because my female character has developed a personality of it’s own and I didn’t realize what I was doing.

Right now I’m worried because if things get a bit too friendly, he’ll want my email address or something. My email contains my initials in it, and I’ve already told him my “name” (girl’s name I made up), which doesn’t fit with the initials. So that would be kind of weird. I don’t really want to create a dummy email / aim name solely for this purpose either.

Maybe I’m worrying about nothing, but I thought this predicament was worth a few laughs and maybe someone could give me some suggestions. I’ve never been in a relationship, real nor online, so I have no experience whatsoever with this. I don’t really want to break it up, because he’s pretty funny and I want to stay friends. And I’d also rather not have to say something along the lines of “hey… wanna know something crazy? I’ve been screwing with you this whole time. I’m actually a dude.” Because that would make me look not only like a huge jackass, but also g*y. (please don’t mark me for censor dodging, I’m not using the word as an insult, I just don’t want to be auto-flagged)

So … yeah. Point and laugh if you wish, but this is seriously screwing me up.

Again, to be precise, it should be: “hey… wanna know something crazy? I’ve been LYING to you this whole time. I’m actually a dude.”

I’m wondering what the one thing that lead to another was and did he take screenshots?

9 thoughts on “Fireworks

  1. One thing leading to another sounds a bit too steamy for an MMO. Vent cyber?

    I’m surprised things like this still happen. e-boy/girlfriends are so ’99. What?

  2. I’ve played half a dozen female toons, and I don’t think one thing has ever led to another. Apparently I’m doing it wrong.

  3. *blink,blink*

    What I want to know is, why is his first thought, “How do I keep up this charade without him finding out I’m a guy?” I mean, really, that’s what his questions boil down to. I’d think MY first thought—assuming I was dumb enough to get into that kind of situation, which I’d like to think would be pretty damn small, I mean it’s pretty hard to ACCIDENTALLY get into a relationship—would be, “How do I get my ass out of this?!”

  4. Oh, and I hate to say it Foton, but I think it’s your guild with the divorces. Jeez, man. I’ve never seen an IRL marriage implode in-game before, and I’ve gamed with quite a few married folks!

  5. “I’ve never been in a relationship, real nor online, so I have no experience whatsoever with this.”

    Just kind of says it all.

    At least he hasn’t developed an unhealthy relationship with his female toon and himself. There appears to be some hope he’ll find sunlight someday.

  6. Ok, so you messed up and lied to a guy about being a girl (and probably lied to yourself about a couple things in the process), but your real error is posting about it on the freaking WoW forums.

    If you need a sympathetic audience for thoughtful and helpful advice about your stupid predicament, maybe Oprah has forums on her website. Until then, delete the toon and STFU about the whole affair, that’s my advice.

  7. I think the best solution writing a “dear john” letter about getting redeployed and having to quit, or better that “her” family is from the old country and she’s being forced to marry her uncle and he doesn’t like MMOs. Then delete the character. Something to give him fond memories of what could have been.

    Maybe it’s all in his head, you know how we guys think every women we meet are interested in us? I mean he said he only knew the guy for a couple hours, did the other guy let him have a drop off a mob and now he thinks that means something?

    Of course, he posted about his predicament with his main? Huh?

    I finally got so sick of the wierdos on my female toons I put “I’m a guy IRL” in my descriptions in games like CoX.

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