Tag Archives: guilds

Hey, Whatever Happened to that One Dude?

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Why don’t I just tell you?

Remember that one dude who was guildleader of (yet another) guild that hates my guild and he claimed he got hacked and/or keylogged and, what a world! what a world!, their phat guildbank is gone and they might have to start whoring themselves for a living to survive in Le World of Warcraft? Well … whoring more, if that were at all possible. (Link if you need a refresher.)

So, he had tried for a few weeks to prop up his “I’ve been HACKED! and/or KEYLOGGED!” story for a week or two on my realm forums, and of course all of us were doing the “uh huh, sure”, and his guildmates were licking ass and telling us haters to stfu. And then, suddenly, he dropped off the face of the Earth.

A month went by without a word from him to his guildmates. We know this because we’d politely inquire of his guildmates and they said they hadn’t heard from him in weeks.

(That’s not suspicious at all. No way.)

And so, after weeks of no communication, his guildmates scattered to the winds and transferred to different servers or joined other raiding guilds, like mine, and that one dude became just a story we told our younger members who, often times, take every game character at face value.

Last week, some of our members got tells from “That One Dude” and he explained that he did get his account back from Blizzard after an EXHAUSTIVE investigation and he had server transferred and changed his character name. (As you do.) Despite several direct inquiries, he refused to disclose his new name or server … because “he didn’t want all that drama to follow him”, and he wished everyone well or something ridiculous like that.

Are these the actions of an innocent character? Several of his former guildmates think thought so.

So. Being the fucking guerilla master that I am, I resolve to get to the bottom of this cuz I’m tired of being labeled a hater cuz I won’t swallow bullshit.

Fortunately for me, some of his friends ratted out the thieving bastard and named the new server, and again fortunately for me, he’s as stupid as he is dishonest and he renamed his character similarly, although not quite searchable without more info, thereby saving me several hours (days) of fruitless hunting. Ba da bing, I have the server, I have the name, and now, thanks armory!, I have the guild.

And with the guild, which has forums, and a searchable member list with join dates, I now have the date he first expressed an interest in this other guild on a server far, far away from his own guild — a date one week prior to the day he claimed that he was HACKED! and/or KEYLOGGED! Why … it’s almost as if he planned the whole thing.

Ya’know, it’s almost not fair how smart I am compared to the average gamer. It’s like I’m that Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court and I can frighten the superstitious populace with my superior knowledge of a solar eclipse. It’s magic, be afraid!

It’s interesting to me how otherwise (mostly) honest people assume a fake name in a game, and sometimes a fake personality, and their dishonest, thieving nature comes to light. It’s doubly interesting that there’s always apologists and hive minds to defend them. His original story didn’t even make sense and yet, there they were, buzzing around his level one posting alt calling the rest of us jealous haters.

The things some players will do, the things they will believe, all for loot — future loot, the hope of loot, the fond memory of past loot — that’s the magic.

Tomorrow: Meh, I ran out of time to tell you about the continuing woes of hunter sister and our man-whore paladin. I’ll save that one for tomorrow, plus … BabbleOn is back!! She’s still not speaking to us. Yet.

We Have Tabardz

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As I’ve been working on (yet another) unguilded alt character in World of Warcraft, this one with big OP-ness, I’ve noticed quite a few guild hawkers using the strength of their guild tabard in their recruitment pitches.

Examples:

Great tabard

Tabard

I don’t think my guild even has a tabard. Did anyone go set one up at the guild registrar’s office? Probably not. And no wonder we’re not getting quality applicants!

Guild tabards were a great thing, once upon a time in Warcraft. Seems most players choose an exalted faction tabard nowadays though. (The object of my desire: The Sporeggar tabard, cuz it’s so damn ridiculous.)

We didn’t have tabards in EverQuest, but we did have armor dyes when the Legacy of Ykesha expansion was released. In fact, that was the ONLY REASON to buy LOY, the armor dyes. At one point, soon after the LOY expansion, we were struggling with Rallos Zek in the Plane of Tactics. (What. A. Bastard.) Anyways, until Rallos Zek went down, all guildmembers had to dye their armor an obnoxious neon color, as anti-suck motivation, donchaknow.

Finally, thankfully, RZ went down and everyone spent the first five minutes redying their armor to the bad-ass color of their choice before we even checked the loot. For a short while, we used the threat of required neon armor to encourage everyone to focus on new boss encounters. Surprisingly effective.

Which gives me an idea.

The Evolution

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Previously … something has to give. A raiding guild is tanking (and not in a good way) on Burning Crusade raid content. Six of the raiders call “ENOUGH!” and follow through on that, and yet we wonder, how the FUCK are we going to clear Karazhan with six? Or five? Does it matter when it’s less than eight?

It really doesn’t matter if it’s less than eight. (Ya you hardc0re uber-skeelt people can clear Karazhan with seven, but I am not you.)

The second day of the mutineer guild we have five guildmembers. We only formed a guild through the generosity of former guildmembers’ alts and my nephew, because left to our own devices, we wouldn’t even have /guildchat to complain about the sorry circumstances we brought on ourselves.

But on the third day, something unexpected happened. Non-mutineering (former) guildmates joined. A few of them. People who are QUITE good at their class … without-peer type players. We cleared Karazhan that first week with 11 guildmembers. And I mean we cleared … Prince, Nightbane, Illhoof, Netherspite. Every boss was down with 11.

You want to lecture me about Karazhan and what it takes to raid in Burning Crusade or how easy Karazhan is or the transition into the 25-mans, tell it to somebody who hasn’t done it twice. I already sweat it out with eleven people to choose from, including one holy paladin and one (former shadow, newly holy) priest. (Moroes can be a bitch with one shackle, btw.) It weren’t easy, by any definition, but we did it because it had to be done.

While we cleared Karazhan that first week with 11, my prior guild (roster of 40+ members after the failed mutiny) couldn’t get through Aran.

We did well, quite well, but we couldn’t exactly send a /tell with HAHAHA hay we pwn with 11, nubs!!

Week Two, we had to down High King Maulgar and make a few Gruul attempts. Again … we only had eleven guildmembers, so y’know, that was going to hurt. (WoW nubs: Gruul’s Lair — High King Maulgar and Gruul himself — are 25-man raids.) Late in the raid week, just when we figured there was no fucking way, we recruited tricked a few more people to join, and, we got an offer from a small group of long-ago guildmembers to assist in Gruul’s. (That’s what we call “Making a Deal with the Devil”.) Talking numbers, we had 8 new recruits hostages and 5 long-ago members with us in Gruul’s Lair that first kill.

And so it’s been every week since the failed mutiny: we get a handful of the former raid core to join us, including long-ago Nefarian/AQ40/Naxx raiders, and slowly, we’re climbing to the top of the pile and are back in Tempest Keep and Serpentshrine Cavern, this time with 50% less bullshit. (Did I say no bullshit? I did not. Less is a start, however.)

I often think if only we had compromised more, or if they had at all, we’d all be three times ahead of where we are. I’m bitter that their recruiting is so easy, because, after all, they’re recruiting on the strength of the name we built. They’re bitter because we “stole” the raiding force. I imagine they’re also bitter because they spent ALL NIGHT in Gruul’s Lair yesterday and we were in and out in under 20 minutes and had moved on to Tempest Keep. (Update: Gruul’s Redux for them tonight too. Now I kinda feel bad about snickering. Almost feel bad.)

It hasn’t been all purples or void crystals for the new guildbank.

This week for example, when one of our paladins backed into the boss while the casters were finishing their mana drinks, and then again when ALL our warlocks died in the first minute of a boss fight (and you know when I say ALL our warlocks, I mean two, because my server’s warlocks are rarely outside of an arena), and later still when one of our shadow priests pulled aggro off the tank because he was happily mind flaying his way up the threatmeter (“hay guys, i forgot to check my threat lol!”), we just laughed and were glad that we’re all together in a new guild.

Are you nuts?

We bitched out their asses in Ventrilo and threatened to throw them back out into the wildnerness of the guildless. Wouldn’t be a true raiding guild if we didn’t end the night not speaking to one another at least once a week.

As I told the reconstituted private chat channel “guildbitchfest”, after we flew back from the graveyard and had run back through the long twisting hallways and ramps to begin the boss buff session anew: Same shit, different guild name.