Grumpy is in Syndication, Part I (02-19-04)

Maybe some of you have noticed that Grumpy has been in reruns for several days. And unlike Letterman or Conan reruns (you’re not actually watching Leno, are you?), you can CHOOSE which Grumpy episode to revisit and relive the magic!

Sometimes Grumpy’s SWG marketing genious scares even himself.

While Grumpy would like to lie and tell you that he was involved in some glamorous contract negotiations, the truth is rather benign — he has been busy with RL work obligations and new work opportunities (Read: more work, not much more pay). And Grumpy has decided recently that he won’t be spending even one more minute waiting for his vendors to wake up and initialize.

After due consideration, Grumpy also realized he should probably post and explain so his legions of fans (all two of them) wouldn’t continue to check the boards, hopeful for another tale of An Unfortunate Cloning Incident. Grumpy read back through some of his posts and has concluded that it’s a pretty good body of work — some are killer, some fall flat and a bit short of the mark, most are at least mildly amusing.

Not bad for commercial-free entertainment.

And now, *cue soundtrack — depending on your opinion as of late re: SWG, Grumpy would suggest either Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” or Metallica’s “Saint Anger”*, one final look at The Master Architect’s Tales and the SWG life of Grumpy.

…Grumpy starts off his SWG career in Moenia, unable to arrive in more hospitable environments like Kaadra, Coronet, or even Bestine. After a few hours of not being able to see his hand in front of his ImageDesign-free face, Grumpy scrapes together enough credits to shuttle over to Kaadra until a roving group of red and angry Maulers promptly send him … back to Moenia.

…After mining for days with tiny wind generators to power the tiny mineral harvesters to harvest tiny quantities of ore and metal to save up into HUGE quantities to grind through architect, Grumpy, FOR SOME REASON THAT HE CANNOT UNDERSTAND EVEN TODAY, destroys the waypoints to some of his harvesters and has to run around for a few days trying to find them. (And kids, grinding a profession in the old days wasn’t as easy as it is today. Grinding meant crafting in the snow with rusty tools that would cut your fingers and your gf/business partner would say ‘there’s got to be an easier way’ and you would say ‘NO THERE ISN’T’ and then she wouldn’t speak to you for a few hours.)

…While waiting for his tiny harvesters to collect tiny quantities of ore and metal, Grumpy works on pistol experience outside Kaadra and is pleasantly surprised that the bandits around town drop loot!!! Something called “Skill Attachments” or similar. As Grumpy cannot figure out how these dumbass things work (clicking on them seemed to have no effect), Grumpy sells these on the bazaar for 500 credits each. Seriously. (They sold really fast too, by the way.)

…Grumpy prepares to make his first house deed, a small Naboo house (no, not that sh*thole round one), planning to surprise his gf/business partner with their first SWG HOME and their VERY OWN WORKSHOP. In the steamy heat of his home office (it was August after all), he clicked Assemble and … crit failed. Grumpy’s RL neighbors are alarmed by the loud cursing and Grumpy recalls vividly why he had resolved several months earlier to never again play a SOE game.

To be concluded tomorrow.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©