Grumpy was out hassling some of the local miscreants this week when a group of fellow militants invited Grumpy into their group. After clearing the city and calming the citizenry, they visited the local cantina to heal up before Thug Wave #2. Naturally, the conversation turned to Publish 6 (a gross misnomer, in Grumpy’s opinion, isn’t it more like Publish 3??? maybe 4, if Grumpy is feeling generous), impending changes in combat templates, and…what had happened to Grumpy. Seriously.

Fortunately, Grumpy was stone cold sober that night and didn’t say something stupid like…”I’m right here” or “I’ve been busy”, even though Grumpy realizes if he was that stupid, people would probably accuse him of posing as Grumpy and trying to ride his coattails, which Grumpy would find hilarious. So Grumpy just listened. One dawg thought maybe Grumpy had died in a fiery car crash or was in a ditch bleeding somewhere; another thought it could be much worse, like Grumpy had been BANNED for being a malcontent or exploiting.

The truth is less glamorous, of course. Grumpy is just on a SWG downer lately and is bored. He’s pretty much cloned to every mob in the game which is Grumpy’s measure of “Beating and Finishing a Game”. (Not to mention that he is also a rich and infamous Master Architect, sometimes in charge of a vast Weaponsmith Empire.) And, Grumpy figures if he can’t say anything nice, (or at least civil), why say anything at all? Grumpy struggled hard to think of something positive, he even toyed with the idea of creating an actual LIST of positive SWG things, but all he could think of was this: Grumpy really likes the Theed Spaceport.

Grumpy’s not sure he can build a positive gaming experience based on liking a single spaceport, but for now, he’s going to try.

Grumpy decided this last weekend, he’s not going to pay his vendors anymore. Vendors obviously never decay, as the dead vendor in one of Grumpy’s shops is still standing in the corner, stoic and ever vigilant and maddeningly empty of stock. CSRs refuse to nuke the vendor, since its owner MIGHT POSSIBLY return to SWG some year and what a scandal that would be in the national press if he/she/it discovered that Sony had deleted his/her/its only friend, The Dead Vendor.

So now Grumpy isn’t going to pay any of his vendors. Not that they work and actually SELL goods anyways. Grumpy could lose millions and millions of credits in inventory if some day the vendors wake up and, discovering that they need 456,982 credits in repairs, decide to suicide. Grumpy can take that kind of risk though, because he has the Theed Spaceport to comfort him.

Since Grumpy had TWO positive thoughts, he decided to share them with the three people he interacts with the most in SWG: his gf/business partner, his SWG bud, and his closest competitor, and by closest Grumpy means he is actually NEXT DOOR to the vast Weaponsmith Empire.

Grumpy: I’m not going to pay my vendors anymore and I really like the Theed Spaceport.

His gf: That’s nice. Did you find a good field of that gas I need?

His SWG bud: Are you high?

His neighbor: That’s exploiting.

Grumpy: Seriously, I like the Theed Spaceport.

His gf: You found a good field near Theed?

His SWG bud: Must be drunk.

His neighbor: You’re going to lose everything.

Maybe Eclipse isn’t ready for a kinder, gentler Grumpy. Or maybe they just haven’t seen the light like Grumpy. This could be a new life — identifying and describing in excrutiating detail all the joy and happiness he sees around him on Eclipse. Actually, Grumpy would rather crawl around at the beach searching for discarded cigarette butts than lie to the general population…IN ELECTRONIC PRINT.

Theed Ticket Droid, ever-faithful, always alert for departing travelers, if only Grumpy’s vendors could be as hard working as you.

The Grumpy Master Architect ©