I’m a connoisseur of fine gaming drama. For those just getting started with game drama, a few general rules:

1. Above all else, the drama cannot involve me. If drama impacts my gaming in any way, then I have to deal with it, and I hate that. It is imperative that the drama is swirling around others.

2. Truly fine game drama usually involves the mentally-unhinged coming unglued. If you can watch this as it actually happens, that’s a rare treat, my friends.

Naturally, I will provide a contemporaneous example. (I’m THAT good.) Over on my Star Wars server, a few months back, this player introduces himself on the server forums … you know, one of those “Hail and well met, good citizens of Server X” and all that kind of shit. (I think: wfe. anyone auctioning good loot on the trade forum?)

He announces his intention of hosting player-run events to provide the good citizens of Server X with the immersive content they so richly deserve! (wfe) He has already hosted many such events on two other SWG servers and, lucky us, will do here also! (The ex-EQ skeptic in me is immediately suspicious.)

And he hosts one battle event, with some success, and then hosts a fundraiser event, to aid in running even more events. (Ex-EQ skeptic becomes more suspicious.) He raises funds to the tune of 22 million+ credits, but can’t host any new events for a while because he is building a player city, to be an event-friendly arena.

Then, he’s leaving the game for a while because he’s getting a RL divorce. (Did we need to know the details?) Then he’s back sooner than he expected. Then, he’s quitting because the development plan is so disappointing. Then he’s back again. Then he’s in love with some game chick. (Ya, like I didn’t see that coming.) Then they’re on the outs. Then she has to call a CSR to have a talk with him allegedly because he doesn’t know when to go away.

C’mon, you have to know what comes next, right?

Then he’s in love again, this time it’s for REAL. (wfe) Now, they’re going to get married, and of course, he has to annoy me with his forum posts about how much in love they are and shouldn’t we all just be so happy for them both? (omg, go away already.) But wait! Before I can be annoyed by his posts about the glorious ceremony, he gets upset with the current mayor of his town and wants to take back control. Which he lost because of his “I’m leaving” “I’m back” “I’m leaving” “I’m back” mania.

This is where the drama starts getting good. He starts hurling obscenities at the mayor on the forums and demanding that either he or his candidate be elected instead. (omg, up the dosage on the thorzine.) So, the current mayor does some snooping around on his two previous SWG servers and finds out that this is the same psycho behavior he displayed over there. (gee, ya think?)

By now, the players that were excited about additional roleplay content (not me) are wondering what happened to all that money they donated to his fundraiser and demand some accountability. Being the forum whore that he is, you might think he would address this immediately, right? Probably in some psycho, meth-induced break from reality sort of way, but a response nonetheless.

You’d be wrong.

He posts this excrutiatingly-long write-up about his roleplay wedding and then says he’s taking a “break from the forums” for a couple of weeks and will address everyone’s concerns then. (BULLSHIT WARNING!!) I can hardly wait to see the series finale on this one. My money’s on “I was diagnosed with cancer and had to eBay the virtual money for a cancer operation”.

As you should know by now: there’s a sucker born every minute … and two to take him.