Commenter GreenMarine had posted another link to Microsoft’s oh-so-timely (5 years ago) guide to the underbelly of internet society: 10 tips for dealing with game cyberbullies and griefers. And I got a good chuckle out of that.

Example: “Don’t fight fire with fire. Make sure your child isn’t using griefers’ own tactics against them, as this will likely encourage more bad behavior, or worse, label your child as a griefer.”

GOD NO!! Not a griefer in our own home!!

Not to make light, but if you’ve taught your kid not to be a jagbag IN GENERAL, they won’t be a jagbag in a game, either. FFS. I’m no expert, but my brother tells his kids that they have to say “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” in games, too. That alone makes them 10 times more polite than any idiots I’m playing with. Anyways, that wasn’t my point.

Reading through the popular delicious dailies (great service, btw), I ran across this other part of the Microsoft series, entitled: A parent’s primer to computer slang.

(You just know this is going to be good, based on the title!)

Samples: “Rules of grammar are rarely obeyed. Some leetspeekers will capitalize every letter except for vowels (LiKe THiS) and otherwise reject conventional English style and grammar, or drop vowels from words (such as converting “very” to “vry”).”

THoZe KiDz R So eDGy!

And a related rule, “Leet words of concern or indicating possible illegal activity: ‘pwn’: A typo-deliberate version of own, a slang term that is often benign but can be used maliciously, depending on the situation.”

According to Microsoft: “Online video game bullies or “griefers” often use this term.” !!! BaZTeRDz!!!

I did notice that the leet speak squad at Microsoft hasn’t caught on yet to the super secret meanings of “wtf” and “ffs.” They haven’t fully penetrated our subsociety. FOOLS!

Keep it secret. Keep it safe.