Wednesday night, one of the guild dudes told us he had a conversation with one of the (alleged!) professional farmers on our server. The shocking news was that she is JAPANESE.

She had interacted with almost all of us at one time or another, we assumed she was cursing at us in Chinese … to American eyes, anglicized Asian languages look virtually identical. (Go ahead, call me a xenophobe or an ignorant American bastard, but hell if I can see the difference.)

Our guild dude took it one step further, however. He copied what she had said to him into an internet translator and determined that it was JAPANESE. So, what did she say? Nosey guildmates want to know!

He didn’t know. His chosen translator was of such poor quality, apparently, that all it could report was that it was Japanese and that it involved tools of some kind.

We wanted to know if maybe she was cursing at him, because that would be hilarious. Describe the context, was he creeping into her farm? Because then, for sure, it was cursing.

One of the guys thought maybe she was asking if the guildie had a large American dick, which launched a five-minute conversation not fit for e-print, even on this blog. The conclusion was that he would definitely need a better translator if he wanted to respond to that. Mixing up his Japanese adjectives would be disastrous.

Seeing as how we’ve run into Chinese pros, Korean pros and now JAPANESE pros … this professional farming gig is starting to sound more and more like a grand conspiracy by the Pacific-rim nations. Are the Vietnamese involved in this as well?

If only we knew of a better translator, we could possibly infiltrate their ranks … befriend them … maybe get free stuff! Epic items all around!

But alas and alack. Four years of high school Spanish and all I know is … en mis pantalones!