Before I start off the reblogging week, I’m going to share a few of email scams I’ve received recently at AFK Gamer … and these are perfect examples of why crime doesn’t pay: the best and the brightest aren’t being recruited into the criminal career paths like, say, petrochemical engineering or intellectual property law.
Little background, I have an email addy here at AFK Gamer (foton-at-afkgamer.com), plus a billion other email addys for work, personal, google mail, bla bla, just like everyone else. OBVIOUSLY, I don’t use the Foton mail for anything other than reblog business like spreading rumors and gossip or thanking anonymous gaming employees for hate mail. (Tip: don’t send the hate mail from your employer’s registered IP, ya idgit.)
I’m not using the Foton mail for Ebay or PayPal or my game accounts or refinancing my home. (Who would?) This finer point doesn’t deter the wannabe phishers.
Ebay bait:
Dear eBay Member,
We recenlty noticed one or more attempts to login into your eBay account from a more IP address and we have reasons to belive that your account has been used by a thirth party. In order to protect your sensitive information or unauthorized listing we temporality suspended your account for further investigations.
Last ip connected on your eBay user:
Host:XXX.XXX.XX.XXX
Dns:www.blahblah.whatever
Country:Romania
Click here for change your password and your personally settings
According to our site policy you will have to confirm that you are the real owner of the eBay account by log in end verify your identity or else you account will remain suspended without the right to register again with eBay.
Thank you ,
eBay © Accounts Managent
GOD NO!!!!!!! I won’t have the right to register again with Ebay??? However will I add to my super leet beanie baby collection then?
PayPal bait:
Security Notice
Dear valued PayPal® member:
During our regularly scheduled account maintenance and verification procedures, we were unable to verify your account information. This might be due to either one of the following reasons:
1. A recent change in your personal information (ie change of address).
2. Submitting invalid information during the initial enrollment process.
3. An inability to accurately verify your account information due to an internal error within our processors.
Hey, so far, good command of the English language. I might be fooled by this … wait! There’s more!
We demand that you take 5 minutes out of your online experience and renew your records to avoid running into any future problems with the online service. However, failure to update your records will result in your account suspension. Once you have updated your account records your internet banking service will not be interrupted and will continue as normal.
Please follow the link below and renew your account information.
Thank you for your patience.
Sincerely, PayPal Customer Service
Now they lost me. “Demand” was the wrong word there, but otherwise, that was a pretty good attempt.
(Actually, now that I think about it, that PayPal attempt is worded more clearly than most of the crap being produced at my office.)
To save you gaming phishers some time … all .0015 seconds of it … I don’t play Runescape, Eve Online, Lineage I or II, and my Sony Station account, for the moment, is inactive.
As for Warcraft, a phisher would have an easier time getting my ATM password than prying the WoW password outta me.
Seeing as how I havn’t posted here for a long time I’ve decided to make up for that by wasting loads of your space mwwwhahahaha. I get loads of 419s, and one friday I decided to reply to one being as crazy as I could :
Dr. Adamu Benson
Bank Of The North,
Victoria Island Branch,
Lagos, Nigeria.
My Dear Friend,
I am Dr. Adamu Benson, Branch Manager with Bank of
the North, Victoria Island Branch, Lagos, Nigeria.
I have an urgent and very profitable business
proposition for you that should be handled with
extreme confidentiality.
On January 6,1998 a Foreign Oil Consultant and
contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum
Corporation (NNPC) Mr. James Herbert by name made a
numbered time Fixed Deposit for twelve calendar months
valued at US$38.6M (Thirty Eight Million, Six Hundred
United States Dollars Only) in my branch.
Upon maturity I sent a routine notification in
accordance with the Bank policy to his forwarding
address but got no reply.
After a month we sent a reminder and finally we
discovered from his contract employers the Nigerian
National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) that Mr. James
Herbert died from an automobile accident.
On further investigation, we found out that he died
without making a Will and all attempts to trace his
next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further
investigations and discovered that Mr. James Herbert
did not declare any next of kin or relations in all
his official documents including his Bank Deposit
paperwork in my Bank.
This sum of US$38.6M has been carefully moved out of
my bank to a Security Company in Europe for
safekeeping.
No one will ever come forward to claim it and
according to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 6
years the money will revert to the ownership of the
Nigerian Government if nobody applies to claim the
fund.
This prompted us to contact you.We will like to front
you as the next of kin of our late client thereby
making you the legal beneficiary of the sum of $38.6
million U.S Dollars that is presently in a Security
Company in Europe.
I contacted you because it is against our code of
ethics to own and operate foreign accounts and your
assistance would be needed to claim the money in the
Security Company in Europe.
We have unanimously agreed that 25% of the entire sum
would be for you if you agree to take part in this
profitable transaction,70% for me and 2 of my
colleagues while the remaining 5% would be used to pay
back the expenses that may be incurred during the
course of the transaction by both parties after the
fund has been claimed and lodged in your account.
In the event that you are genuinely interested in the
transaction,the following information would be needed
from you to expedite action.
1) Your Full Name and Address that would be used to
establish you as the next of kin of our late client
thereby making you the legal beneficiary of the fund.
This would ensure that the Security Company in Europe
releases the Consignment/Fund to you.
2) Your Private Mobile,Telphone and Fax numbers where
you can be reached at all time because this
transaction entails constant communication.
The transaction is 100% risk free as all modalities
has been perfected to ensure the hitch free success of
the transaction.
If you are interested, send the requested information
via email.
I await your response urgently.
Regards,
Dr.Adamu Benson
NOTICE:REPLY TO THIS EMAIL ADDRESS(dradamu_benson@fastermail.com)
My reply :
Dear Doktor Adamu
I readed with greatest of interest you most secretest offer of free monies, and I must say that I want all the free monies that you must give to me wich I intend to use wholeheartedly to pay for my space rocket project. Indeed it seems like fortuitous fate has brought you entry into my life at this stage, as I want to make space rocket to drill for oil on the moon and it is too muchly like a godly coincidence that I have the rocket technology I downloaded off the internet and you have the oil technology.
I propose that we go into business together and make a company to drill for oil on the moon called ” The company that drills for oil on the moon” or maybe “The oil drilling on the moon company ” which name do you like best for our company? MY proposition to you is that we make this company and I get to be the boss person in charge and you be my butler, I shall pay you well, and you will have a warm bed and food for your loyal service. If we employ any other people to help us they shall be your butler, so as the company grows you will get more butlers, but you must find them beds and forage for food for them, I msst insist !!! I wont have any butlers mistreated, so you will be sorely judged on this!!!
Allow me to explain the merits of my business plan to you. Oil is like water only a different colour and more expensive, a fact that we shall use cunningly to our advantage. It is this very expensive that means when we find our oil on the moon we shall sell it to other people for money. I propose two oil charge tariff, we shall make cheap oil and expensive oil. The cheap oil we shall put in barrels and people shall come to the moon to collect it, but the expensive oil we sell we shall build a pipline to earth and the oil shall flow down the pipe under the dubvious forces of gravity. At the earth end of the pipe we have a big tap, and you and I shall guard the tap so no one can steal our moon-oil. My plans for the future are big and I shall not leave you out my faithfull butler, we shall reinvest our moon–oil profits and buy a refinery on the moon, by this means we will be the first ever gas station on the moon and shall have all business of passing space ships needing to refuel and buy snacks and warm drinks. This is a good an secret business plan of infinite future scope, you must not sell this plan to competition or I will be very mad. I am trusting your honesty in this matter of good faith.
So how much free money are you offering to me then? I need at least 60 billion yen for my moon drilling project, and do not think you can afford all of this. Luckily I was also contacted by Miriam Abacha the wife of the late and badly dresseed General Abache who has offered me almost double the miserable paltry amount you have offered me you cheapskate, but I believe if I wait a few more days and get more offeres, we could put all the money together and afford the mobile moon drilling platform. They will have to supply thier own butlers as I dont want you getting distracted from making my every needs.
Yours in strictest of confidences and highest regards for my new business partner with hightest of hopes for our combined venture that we shall reach for the stars
Your ever loving business partner
Mr. Derek Cheeseyman FRACS DISPO IQDT bar none.
His reply, with a classic line at the end 🙂 :
Dear Mr. Derek Cheeseyman,
Ok I have heard you but how can reach i reach you because i need to talk with you on phone,This my proposition has procedure we have to secure some documentation from the government in your favour before this funds will be released into your bank account.Moreso,I need to have your banking cordinates where you want this funds to be transfered into.
Please let me have your direct telephone number so that we can talk on your proposal and mine.
Iam very cheap as you said.
Regards,
Pilow Kwamim.