Some random conversations I’ve had over the past few weeks in World of Warcraft:

First, I continue my search for a professional gold farmer that can speak Spanish if not English. Four years of high school Spanish didn’t do me a damn bit of good.

Plus, I probably forgot 90% of what I learned.

***

Next, doing our own bit of farming in Winterspring — we’re amateurs, remember! That’s an important distinction.

Just trying to do our thing, keeping a sharp eye out for any intruders that might try to take the camp and steal spawns, every few minutes there’s some questor that comes along looking for an assist. As if.

If I’m in a generous mood, I’ll make up a quest that I’m working on so they’ll be on their way. If feeling not so generous, I’ll explain that I don’t do favors. I do, however, accept gold to perform a service.

I could just say no, but I don’t want to appear to be the King Asshole that I truly am. Appearances are important.

***

Still in Winterspring, dodging those stupid named dragons, (Spellmaw, I’m looking in your direction here):

That’s not really fair though. I said jackass, not psychotic fuck.

***

Had been having a few guild issues. Farm-status bosses were giving us some trouble. WHY?? WHY?? Really, there was no explanation other than this: People were napping on the job — the ole AFK/autofollow routine for the majority of the raid.

We solved that problem the same way most guilds solve that problem — a raid kick, or in extreme cases, a guild kick.

***

This is immediately after one LONG-OVERDUE guild kick. I tried to put the fear of a lootless world into the raid team.

They thought I was joking. Probably misinterpreted that smiley as a joke smiley, rather than the evil “I want to gu-kick all of you” smiley it actually was.

Anyways. The loot train is back on track, it’s running on schedule, and people should be happy, right? WRONG.

It is never enough, my friends.