Monthly Archives: July 2007

The School of Hard Knocks In Session

Posted on by
16

Sometimes, I enjoy watching the optimism of youth. Y’know, when I’ll warn someone in game to watch him or herself (and their virtual money) around the server jagoff and youth will tell me that I “just don’t know the server jagoff, he really is a nice person and a good player.” Or, that “Server jagoff USED to be a jagoff but now he’s changed.”

Ya. I love optimism like that because it means they’re about to get a lesson from the school of hard knocks.

Like this lesson. Remember several months ago I told you about the World of Warcraft rogue that stole the bank from the Unguildables guild? (Parts I and II) Briefly, this rogue kept applying to join our guild and we kept denying him, so he formed his own guild out of the server’s unguildable players — those prone to drama or ninja’ing — then he did a late-night server transfer with the guild bank and told the Unguildables he had cut a deal with my guild for all of the them to join all of us in happy raid land.

I may have also told you (maybe I didn’t though), he returned to our server on a level one noobie rogue WITH THE SAME NAME as his thief character and was chatting it up with the crowd in Ironforge.

This is how that night went down. A few of us are sitting around in Ironforge after the night’s 40-man raid, marveling that our guild can kill anything with some of the “talent” we have, and I see in /say his noobie rogue chatting with a couple of our guild (ALLEGEDLY) female players. Let’s say his rogue is named Beneful.

Me: /officer wtf. is that fucking beneful?
Officer channel: He transferred. Remember?? He stole that guild bank.
Me: /officer Well I’m looking right at him in Ironforge. Who the fuck else would name their character with that dumass name?
Officer channel: Wow. That’s ballsy.
Me: (to one of the females chatting with him) Is that fucking beneful?
Her: teehee ya. He made a level 1 to chat with people. He’s lonely on his new server.
Me thinks: Musta run out of money.

Ordinarily, in this situation I’d be on high alert to carefully scour any rogue applicant to keep his thieving ass out of the guild, but as we hadn’t tagged a new rogue since 2005, high alert seemed unwarranted.

Continue reading →

Farmers and Botters and Gnomes

Posted on by
6

I’ve been up to the devil’s business lately in World of Warcraft — nothing illegal, sploitish or untoward, I assure you. The whole thing hasn’t played out yet so I can’t write out the unseemly details until I get everything that’s coming to me. (That’s a little teaser.)

Fortunately for me, the WoW forums has provided some entertainment.

First, amusing and innovative, a gold farming outfit took to the skies to advertise their gold site across several servers: “Gold Spam: Going to new heights. Literally” and “Emerald Dream server just got hacked it seems“. Mods and the original posters pulled the screenshots before I could capture (damn them!), but basically, gnomes fell from the skies to their deaths to form the words and web addy for a gold farming site.

From the first post:

Server: Skywall
Time: 1 am server
Gold Spam of the Month…

Level 1 gnome warriors are falling from the sky in Ironforge to their deaths, and instantly releasing leaving their bodies on the ground in Ironforge.

“Nothing new” you say? Well, so far the bodies have spelled out < < The Name Of A Site That Will Not Be Mentioned >> and keep falling to form more letters as I type this.

I’m currently at the noob starting zone for the gnomes, in Dun Morogh, and have been watching lvl 1 gnome warriors being created, “flying” 20 feet into the air, then walking towards ironforge. STILL IN THE AIR.

Oh the gnomity!

Continue reading →

Fireworks

Posted on by
9

Lunar FireworksToday is the best holiday of the year for the Americans in your guild so if they skip the raid tonight and show up tomorrow hung over, complaining of sunburn and missing fingers, take it easy on them. To be precise, I mean the United States Americans in your guild, because as some guild wiseass pointed out to me, technically, Canadians and Mexicans are Americans also.

Anyways, nomenclature arguments aside, here’s a few updates.

1. I’ve decided that my World of Warcraft guild is really hazardous to real-life marriages. Three marriages blown to pieces in two years, one just recently which is why I’m wondering wtf. Is our guild culture or the game to blame or are people in bad marriages just naturally attracted to the guild? Wish I knew as it’s incredibly disruptive when there’s a divorce in-guild. I don’t like disruptions — bad for loot.

2. Tortheldrin is a dying server, or so says realm resident Horrigan:

Tortheldrin is dying. A server that opened up with Burning Crusade currently has less than 20 people on (For the Alliance) at PRIME TIME. Unless Blizzard opens up free transfers from other high, over populated servers, or merges our server with another Tortheldrin is simply going to become a ghost town.

That’s not dying, that’s dead. Even on my server, we’re fighting tooth and nail over every priest that was ever created, I can just imagine the demands a priest could make on Tortheldrin. Hell, maybe even the rogues and hunters are making demands.

3. Emailer Shadowbunny found a wonderful World of Warcraft story from the Windrunner realm. Myearzitch, level 70 warlock, created a mangina alt for sport, as he explained:

As most of you may know, I transferred servers. Well on this server I made a female character to level up for the fun of it. The reason I made it female was just to mix things up a little bit and see if I could get away with it without people catching on.

Here’s where the problem lies. I met a guy yesterday and we played in the same group for like three hours. One thing led to another and now I’m sort of his girlfriend. …Yeah. I’m not sure why I let it go this far – possibly because of a desire to see how far I could take it (and I didn’t want to blow my cover), possibly because I wanted to screw with his mind, and possibly because my female character has developed a personality of it’s own and I didn’t realize what I was doing.

Right now I’m worried because if things get a bit too friendly, he’ll want my email address or something. My email contains my initials in it, and I’ve already told him my “name” (girl’s name I made up), which doesn’t fit with the initials. So that would be kind of weird. I don’t really want to create a dummy email / aim name solely for this purpose either.

Maybe I’m worrying about nothing, but I thought this predicament was worth a few laughs and maybe someone could give me some suggestions. I’ve never been in a relationship, real nor online, so I have no experience whatsoever with this. I don’t really want to break it up, because he’s pretty funny and I want to stay friends. And I’d also rather not have to say something along the lines of “hey… wanna know something crazy? I’ve been screwing with you this whole time. I’m actually a dude.” Because that would make me look not only like a huge jackass, but also g*y. (please don’t mark me for censor dodging, I’m not using the word as an insult, I just don’t want to be auto-flagged)

So … yeah. Point and laugh if you wish, but this is seriously screwing me up.

Again, to be precise, it should be: “hey… wanna know something crazy? I’ve been LYING to you this whole time. I’m actually a dude.”

I’m wondering what the one thing that lead to another was and did he take screenshots?