A recent project of mine in Lord of the Rings Online was investigating hunters, hobbits and noob life in The Shire.
Really, I just wanted an alt with my porn name.
So ladies, if you’re looking for a hobbit who really knows how to party, you know who to /tell.
(Anyone else surprised that LOTRO hasn’t filtered S-E-X from naming? I was. FOOLS!)
Ok folks, this World of Warcraft forum thread is one of those game dramas that is SO GOOD, you actually start camping the message board to watch the explosion in real time.
Which is exactly what I did — despite protests from my weekend game groups, but to hell with them, this was/IS good shit.
For the firewall-challenged, here’s a few excerpts to tantalize.
Title: Drama is a guy (… and usually a whore, but that’s a philosophical discussion.)
Drama of the Norgannon realm wrote:
I think it’s time to end this little charade. I’m a guy.
Back when I my GF was leveling characters, she had a mixed variety of male and female characters. She noticed that without any indication by the player, most people assumed male characters were guys IRL and female characters were girls IRL. She also noticed that people were much more pleasant towards her female characters than her male characters. She thought this was a surprising, yet offending observation. Sexists exist, ladies and gents, even in WoW.
When she finally got me interested enough in the game to go buy a copy and start leveling a character, she suggested that I make a female character, and pretend to be female. She told me that it would make the whole gaming experience more enjoyable because people would actually be a lot nicer to you if they thought you were female IRL. Along with this discussion went which class and race to pick. She suggested warrior because a skilled protection warrior in end game is highly sought after… Anyway this is beside the point.
We decided that to avoid obvious complications with men trying to flirt with me, she and I were to be @!!*!!!s. I borrowed some pictures of her and her sister to use in the creation of the myspace link seen in the signature of all of my posts predating this one. Even though I claimed I was happy in a very flourishing relationship, some guys insisted on coming on to me which was quite frankly very creepy and disgusting.
At times it was kinda fun when people would offer to run me through instances for free. Other times it was creepy and sometimes scary when certain guys in particular just wouldn’t accept “*#** off” as an answer. I guess you could say this experience has enlightened me in some ways.
I feel I have mislead many by pretending to be someone I am not and for this I do apologize. I did my best to steer clear of obvious complications such as faking falling in love with anyone, or otherwise leading anyone to believe that they had a chance with me. If you are heartbroken, check your package. Is it still there? Good. You’ll get over it.
I am a very straight male who was merely curious about some of the things the other side goes through when dealing with men on the internet. I am both shocked and disgusted at some of the ways in which I was treated while I was pretending to be Jennifer. I will neither name names, nor will I get specific as to what actually happened between these unnamed persons and myself. It is history.
Forum trolls feast upon the grandest thing to come your way since the birth of the server.
Now, if you’ve been around online gaming for a while (i.e. longer than 30 minutes), you know already this story hasn’t played out and will only get better. (Pssst, you were right!)
Further reading and it seems Drama (self-described heterosexual male) was pretending, in game, to be a lesbian in real life. As you do.
Meanwhile, back in World of Warcraft …
So, I think we can all agree that I’m guilded with a bunch of nitwits. The following is further evidence.
Few weeks back, one of the guildmates /tells me in game that I might want to check out the security on our guild message boards because one of our former guild members apparently has full access to the private guild areas. (Recall that I was volunteered to administer our guild “web presence” as no one else was willing to take that thankless job.)
This was me: How?
Him: Looks like they’re using a current member’s login info.
Me: Who is using whose login?
Him: I don’t wanna say.
Me: Then what do we have to talk about?
I can’t tell you how sick I am of guildmates making serious accusations against guildmates, then refusing to name the offenders cuz that’s being a tattletale. Jesus, man up and point your finger, otherwise don’t bother me.
We danced around for a few days, with me promising anonymity and him playing hard to get, until finally he emails some screenshots of the private boards with the identifying information NOT redacted. F’ing finally.
Because I’m well aware of Photoshop magic, I went to the server logs to snoop around a bit and get the goods on the guildmate who was playing fast and loose with our access and privacy.
The former guildmember: BabbleOn (she of previous drama: Part I and Part II) and the guildmate who shared his login info with her, for some UNKNOWN reason that I will never understand unless it involved sex and that’s an even scarier thought: Med School Warlock, one of our frequent cyber-ors.
Let me pause here to say: Med School, my ass. I think people going to med school have to … oh, I don’t know … LOG OUT every once in a while to go to class. Aren’t there internships and residencies involved with many, many hours required? They let that guy become a licensed physician and I’m staying the fuck out of his state for the rest of my life.
He’s so full of shit, I can’t believe anyone would buy his story, and yet, I know of three who have. Hook. Line. Sinker.
Obviously, I’m not a fan of Dr. Cyber.
So, I have the goods on the would-be doctor, I rat him out to the officers, and they decide to have a talk with him after the night’s raids. (So you’ll understand the magnitude of the indiscretion here: BabbleOn and the Dr. are not married in real life, or in game, they don’t live together, they’re not relatives, they’re not neighbors, I didn’t even know they were friends, or more, prior to this.)
Well, funny thing happened on the way to the interrogation room, Dr. Cyber took matters into his own hands and /gquit. Man, I was disappointed. I was hoping to see him squirm. I love the squirm. Alas and alack, no squirm in /gu chat.
All he said before the /gquit was something about disagreeing with the direction of the guild, (psst, that’s code for “I want more loot”), he /gquit, and then he joined the fourth Guild That Hates My Guild on the server — newly formed of about a dozen guildmates who also disagreed with the “direction of the guild”.