A while ago, a rumor was circulating around the SWG boards that Sony had outsourced its CSR program to India. I never saw any official word on this (as in … That is a bald-faced lie, Love, Sony Online Entertainment), but just between you, me and the doorknob, I would not be surprised.

An example of my latter day experiences with Live and In Virtual Person CSRs:

Some assbangers were feign+training my SWG guild in the toughest dungeon in the game (Death Watch Bunker .. this noob pissroom can’t come close to the craziness of old world Guk, but, yanno, this is Bore Wars). So, naturally, my guild (FOOLISHLY) thought that notifying the CSRs in live chat might elicit some response, as this was a sleepy, uneventful evening during the week. What the hell else do they have to do with all servers up and the chat room just has a few “how do I change my eye color at the initial character select screen?” people in attendance?

I should point out, in all fairness, that if my guild (and more specifically if *I*) had access to a master smuggler also, I would have feign+trained their asses so hard, they would still be cloning. I’m that kind of an “eye for an eye” guy.

CSRApu tells our guild rep that a CSR will be there shortly to investigate. (Holy shit, maybe that India thing is just a rumor.)

About a dozen feign+trains later, and an additional 9 Super Battle Droids dropped into our camp, no CSRApu. (O where o where can he be?) Eventually, cooler heads prevailed … wait, scratch that … a more pragmatic head prevailed (me), and I decided that I wasn’t going down without taking most of the assbangers with me.

Which I did. Shame that.

Here’s the happy ending, though … we did receive a partially-coherent response to our CSR tickets — thanking us for playing SWG and assuring us that “someone” was investigating our report and there would be repercussions for such assbangery.

O yes, there most certainly would be repercussions for assbangery. Not in my lifetime, but possibly in my next lifetime.

So I have that going for me.

Continued from Sony’s Vortex of Evil — The day after Sony makes their grand announcement that they won’t be fixing any of the shit they fucked up in the last year until they pump out their first SWG Demon Expansion, they post (with much fanfare and hoopla) that SWG players can sign up to beta test said Demon Expansion, The Jump to Lightspeed.
 
Of course, not everyone will be chosen.  (O no!)  And I must be at least 18.  (O no!)  And they want to install some spyware to crawl up my computer’s ass to check my system.  (Check here to always trust content from Sony Entertainment!  ya, right.)  But I can be among the first to TRY OUT SPACESHIPS and LIVE THE STAR WARS DREAM!  (fuck you.)
 
These are the same people that in one fell swoop decimated my SWG PvP guild the previous day, along with many other PvP guilds on all the servers, and now they’d like a hand in beta testing the expansion that killed PvP?  These fuckers are like Tolkien’s Nazgul … neither living nor dead.
 
Frankly, I’m not sure they even need beta testers.  It’s not like the product that emerges DIFFERS IN ANY DISCERNIBLE WAY from the beta.  This is a company reknowned for their lack of response to the public.  Why in the world would they be interested in input from those of us that know, and at times have loved, their game?  In short, they aren’t.
 
They need beta testers?  I need a Sony paycheck first before I’d waste time checking their code.  They can take their Demon Expansion and shove it up their collective asses.

Sony and I haven’t been buddies, or even civil to each other, since they started making me lean into the punch.  I’ve tried ducking, sometimes successfully, but time and again I keep taking it on the chin. 
 
The punches I dread the most are their Demon Expansions, the Sony Left Hook.  You know the type … buy the expansion and maybe some day you will unlock the content therein, m’lords and m’ladies.  Fuck you.
 
Many in the gaming world have heard by now about their latest Demon Scam.  Summary for those in the cheap seats:  Sony has delayed the long-awaited revamp of the Star Wars Galaxies (SWG) combat and PVP system so they can release the first Demon Expansion, The Jump to Lightspeed, in time for those crucial Christmas sales.
 
Naturally, this caused mayhem and hysteria among the populace, cuz, umm, after all, a COMBAT SYSTEM is kind of critical in a game designed around a CIVIL WAR.  Idiots.
 
Lest ye think me slow witted, I understand the business reasons for this decision.  I know all about business and having to make a buck; despite my penchant for online gaming, I have to make a buck too.  I’m just kind of old-fashioned since I believe the guy paying me a buck should be getting some value for his buck.  Call me a crazy American.
 
I kinda saw this one coming from a long way down the tracks.  I even dreaded the combat rebalance — Sony and I having that long history together, I just KNOW they’ll fuck us over, and often.  Still, I feel bad for the new gamers.  They took it on the chin. 
 
By some guy’s count (maybe a catasser named Josh, who knows), Sony lost over 1,000 subscriptions after yesterday’s announcement.  They’ve been bleeding subscriptions for months now, maybe they’ll take note and have the PR Department produce some sort of missive to calm the masses.
 
In a disturbing way, it’s enjoyable to watch the fallout from this mess.  Sony’s Vortex of Evil knows no bounds.  (You heard it here first.)
 
TO BE CONTINUED — PART II — Sony thinks I’m stupid enough to sign up to beta test their Demon Expansion.  (Hint:  They can shove it up their collective asses.)