I know everyone is anxiously awaiting my arrival at the vaunted level 60 in Warcraft. Correction … my guildmates are awaiting the level 60 ding so I’ll stop whoring myself out to any NPC with a gold quest mark over its head.

Let’s be blunt: when a high-50s quest puts out with only 5k of experience, that’s whoring.

Currently, I’m level 59.6666666667, approximately 6 bubs of exp to whore, and I’ll get right on that after I stop at my local tavern and knock back a couple.

While I’m buckling down and winning Warcraft this weekend, I’ll be incommunicado. I know my priorities and they are thus: Superbowl, collect on Superbowl, train the shit out of that fucking Horde rogue that tried to steal a chest from me last night, and level 60.

This kind of orgy-riffic weekend (games, sports, booze and trays of processed meats) only comes once a year; I will indulge to the fullest.

I leave you, albeit temporarily, with my super secret Superbowl and/or online-gaming snack tip: Bacon. No, really. Everything tastes better with bacon on it, wrapped around it, crumbled on it, stuffed inside it, or served instead of it.

Now don’t say I never gave out any l337 information.

Next week: Fashion tips involving Eating Pants.