Yahoo! Groups : WoW Widows — Not entirely unexpected, World of Warcraft has an internet support group for those abandoned and neglected by their Warcraft-playing loved ones. Unless you have a similar issue at home, you should only read and reflect. You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, fcs.
Broken…..thank you! The more support we give one another the better. I too felt a sense of relief when I found this website. I knew I couldn’t be alone but didn’t expect to find a sight where you could truly vent and receive support. I have been married for 13 years with 2 children and his gaming time is only getting worse. Our 12 year old loves the game too and if I didn’t put my foot down would be playing it way too much! It is a very sad thing and he’s not to the point where he will admit that he’s addicted. Once we get there I know we can make progress. I am praying about it and believing for a breakthrough. He is a good person with a very selfish addiction. He needs help…..we need help.
ok, for one thing. its a persons CHOICE to play the game…. if they want to play it 24/7 and ruin thier life then let them! i happen to love playing World of Warcraft and 7million other registered users do too…. if u have a boyfriend or whatever that plays WoW non-stop then thats ur problem and dont complain about it to others.
CrazedGemer – The only problem is when someone makes a selfish choice it doesn’t just affect them….it affects their entire family. If a father is playing a GAME 24/7 then who is raising his children? When they ask Dad for help with their homework (real life stuff) and he says later and later never comes then what? I’m happy that you LOVE to play WOW and so does 7 million other people but I bet there is 3 times that many people who HATE it and think it’s ruining their lives. That game is designed to be addictive. It’s like feeding a slot machine for hours and you just can’t leave it because the person who sits down after you will hit. The game is the same way….you can’t leave because you may miss a good drop! It seems as though many people who play it can’t play it in moderation….it’s all or nothing.
And by the way…you’ve visited a site that was made for people on the other side of the addiction so we’re allowed to complain!
Widows, try these good sites.
http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/WOW_widow/
and this
http://www.gamerwidow.com/
Fantastic people that understand.
Former Widow
The male and female mentality differs greatly, woman are more “in touch with their emotions” while men barely care about their emotions.Both are an advantage in their own way, with less emotional imput men have more ability to make a logical decision, woman have more emotional imput and are better in a relationship because of it. This also unfortunatly causes a lack of understanding between the sexes.
This of course also means that a conversation about how your day went seems much less interesting to men than that Dwarf Paladin offering to go to Naxxramas, while you would rather spend time talking over dinner than go to Arathi basin.
This does -NOT- mean I support their lack of attention toward you. Nor do I see playing World of Warcraft as a problem. I doubt I have made any change in your opinion, but thought I would post my own.
I beleive you should all look at what you yourselves do for fun, and ask yourself if your boyfreind would want to. This means go into specifics, for example:
Xwoman goes to see movies in her spare time. This does seem like it is somthing her boyfreind would enjoy, but what movies does she see? Would her boyfriend really like to see Mona Lisa Smiles?
I also suggest that you point out to your boyfriend that while World of WarCraft is an enjoyable game, it is still only a game, it does not get you anywere in life and more time should be spent working or with you.
Of course I must again say this is ONLY AN OPINION and I can not be held responsible for reprecusions or basing a response to your problems around it.
Hello. I honestly had no idea there was a support system like this. I think this is wonderful. My situation is that my hubby bought WOW about 2 weeks ago and since then has leveled up to a 30 level character, (that lets you know just how much time he’s spending playing). I really have no problem with my hub playing WOW, I just wish he could do it in moderation, but like many other games, I’m seeing that it doesn’t seem possible to play in moderation. I understand that he’s extremely competitive and wants to be great at what he does, and obviously is if he can level that high that fast, so I try desperately to be understanding. I really do. But two weeks without my hubby, the father of my children, is taking a toll on my emotional stability. Yes, he’s here at home as opposed to being gone, but I can’t communicate with him. Sure, I can talk to him, but it’s not the same. So, now, I alternate between mood swings of extreme anger toward the situation, to an extremely empty feeling in which I just spontaneously start crying, to complete and total overwhelment in trying to take care of the needs of our home, my job, and my schoolwork (yes, I’m going to college).
I know that his obsession with this game will pass eventually, but I also know that even when that happens, there will be another game to pull him in.
I guess I don’t really know why I came to this forum. I don’t want to sit around and complain about it, and I certainly don’t want to change my hubby into something he isn’t. I guess just getting my little comment out to the world is enough for me. Its like someone else said earlier in a post, the b/f g/f thing passes, but don’t let this ruin your marriage. A marriage lasts a lifetime, something this game surely cannot do.
Hey guys, I thought you all may want to look at these signs. People who are complete addicts DO NEED professional help. I also read that most doctors that treat computer/game/internet addictions treast them as drug addictions and use MEDICATION. It is that serious. Please read.
Computer / Internet Addiction – Self Diagnosis
Ten Symptoms of Computer Addiction (by James Fearing, Ph.D.)
A demonstrated “loss of control” when trying to stop or limit the amount of time on the computer. (Breaking promises to self or others. Promising to quit or cut down and not being able to do so)
Being dishonest or minimizing the extent of the time you stay on the computer, or covering up or being dishonest about what activities you participate in when on the computer.
Negative consequences experienced by the computer user or his/her friends or family as a direct result of time or activities spent on the computer.
Participation in high risk or normally unacceptable behaviors when using the computer. Compromising your morals and values based on the opportunity to remain anonymous and protected on the computer. (a good test for this is to ask yourself if your spouse, partner or family would approve of what you were doing on the computer)
An overdeveloped sense of importance for the computer in ones life. Defending your right to use the computer as much as desired, regardless of the fact that people in your life are feeling left out and neglected. (denial of the problem and justification; not being able to hear or feel what the other people are saying regarding your computer behavior)
Mixed feelings of euphoria (a “rush”), combined with feelings of guilt brought on by either the inordinate amount of time spent on the computer or the abnormal behavior acted out while using the computer.
Feelings of depression or anxiety when something or someone shortens your time or interrupts your plans to use the computer.
Preoccupation with the computer and computer activities when you are not using the computer (thinking about the computer and its activities when doing something else; i.e. having a family dinner, working on project deadline etc.)
Finding yourself using the computer at times when you are feeling uncomfortable, irritated, or sad about something happening in your life. ( feeling uncomfortable in your relationship, so you will self medicate and “hide out” on the computer) Using time on the computer to become externally focused outside yourself as a way to avoid facing what is happening in your life, and avoiding feeling the appropriate feelings inside yourself. (self medicating)
Experiencing financial concerns or problems in your life as a result of money being spent on computer hardware, computer on-line charges, or any other costs associated with computers. (Spending money on computer related items which should have been allocated to other normal living expenses)
Peace Love and Luck,
-J
I do not normally post stuff, I am more of a reader. I felt compelled to post here du to some events that have taken place in my life relating to the game of World of Warcraft. I am actually a former player of the game, played for almost two years, purchased the game shortly after it had been released. I am married for 15 years and have two boys ages 13 and 11.
I happened across this forum in my research of game addiction and the problem that can result from it. As mentioned I played the game myself, I had two level 60s. I started a guild and at one point we where the largest guild on our PvP server. I had anything I wanted in the game, we farmed the instances, all my regular guild members where decked out in epic armor, as far as the game goes I was on top of the world. Now having made all those accomplishments came with a cost in the real world.
I was playing the game all the time! I work from 7-4 M-F and would log into the game as soon as I got home and play sometimes past midnight. On the weekends, I would play until 4-5AM and go to sleep for a couple hours and get back on. I played the game every single opportunity that I had. I neglected many of my responsibilities around the house and with my family. If I had to do something outside the game, it would be done with great haste. My priority was to always be in the game. I would eat in front of the computer and restroom breaks always coincided with breaks in the game.
We actually had two accounts in the house because sharing the game with my kids became and issue. At some point in time my wife asked me, ‘what the big deal was with this game and how could I spend so much time playing it?’ I sat her down to the computer one day, logged her into the kids account and helped her to create a character. I showed her how to move around and interact with the game and let her on her own. She played a lot. While she was discovering the game I was on the verge of burnout. I turned over control of my guild to someone else and gradually left the game.
I left the game for many reasons but the biggest problem I had with the game is that it has no end. Even when you conquer something, there is something bigger and better waiting around the corner. In addition, the developers add content. So even if you reach a point in the game that you feel all task have been completed, the designers are working away at the next thing to be added to the game to keep you coming back.
So anyway, yea I left the game for good. I even sold my account on Ebay. In the end I had gotten back all my money ever spend on the game. I felt good about at least having compensated myself for all the work I put into my toons.
Now the problem that brings me here, I created a monster when I introduced my wife to the game, she had become obsessed with it. She was playing everyday and on the weekends. She would not do stuff when we had the opportunities, like going to see a movie or going out to eat. She wanted to play the game. She made friends in the game and wanted to chat with them all the time. Some of the conversations that she had with some of the people in the game bordered on Cybersex. She exchanged email addresses with most of them and soon was exchanging phone numbers. Most all this activity was taking place unbeknownst to me. Part of the problem was the fact that I still wanted to play games, just not WOW. I played a game called Day of Defeat, it is a first person shooter. The thing I enjoyed the most about the game was the ability to just quit whenever you felt like it. You could play for an hour or you could play for 5 minutes. The game, like most games does not require you to devote your life to it.
After time I discovered some of the emails and conversations my wife was engaging in and confronted her about it. Her reaction was like that of a drug attic. She lied about it, was very defensive and took measures to ensure that her ability to play the game could not be controlled by me. She actually bought a copy of the game, had her lvl 60 character transferred to the new account and installed the new copy of the game at her parent’s house. She paid for all of this with a bank account that I did not know about.
She was willing to give up everything for that game. She had been talking to people in the game about meeting them. She had been exchange photos with people and talking to them on the phone. She had gone form playing the game to chasing fantasies. The past few months have been strange. She has stopped playing the game after what could be considered an intervention on my part.
I have done a lot of research about this and found that it is becoming very common. I witnessed 1st hand people in my guild that lost girlfriends/boyfriends and jobs because of the game.
I will provide one of many sites I have come across in my for those of you that think there could be a problem but are not sure.
Good luck.
To James
Thank you for your post. My husband plays all the time. I recently found out he set up an email account I had no knowledge of. What I know now is that he “met” someone whom he “loves”. They have in fact, had cybersex as well as phone sex. We have been married for 20 years and have two daughters.
It’s been a rough couple of months, but we are trying to work through this. Like I said, it all came as a shock to me-the wife is always the last to know. I never knew how true this statement was. I was busy with the house, the kids, my job, but I was still paying attention to him, when he wasn’t gaming.
I know I am not perfect, but who is? If he was not satisfied in our marriage, he made no mention of it to me.
Well anyway, some days I do not even know what to do about it. He still plays. I am not ready to walk away from 20 years of a marriage for something that has happened within the past 6-9 months, but I am at a loss as to how to deal with this addiction.
hello fellow people im a lady with the same problem first it was
e.q then wow and that started ten years ago and let me tell you that it hirts when they dont come to bed and cant do anything with the kids three of them all ages and yes he works 8/4.30 so do i i work a couple jobs and do all the kids stuff and i also clean house do all the cooking and from 4.30 to 2.30at night he plays wow and yells at everyone and thinks couse he brings home the pay check he can do what he wonts and play along as you wont start a fight i say im going to throw your computer in the trash and he gets so mad and i cant stop laughing that a thing like the computer is more inportant then the family and you think that people that made these machines and these games would know how many lifes that it has effected would they of thought twice no and our family member that has this problem cant see them selfs as a problem theres no dead ends on the sceen there a new game its all a new beging.it starts over it a on going chip. i love the power going out i like the net down.
i like to now what hes like note a charater.he walks in from work and say nothing turns on the computer and changes is clothes and thats it play time 10 years when it end it doesnt….
I’m not sure why I have decided to add to this post. This is a first time. I found this site because I recently started seeing someont who spends an incredible amount of time playing WOW. I didn’t understand the addiction that this game could create and it caused me to google World of Warcraft addictions…and that is what brings me here.
After reading the previous posts I’m quite confident in saying that this guy I’ve been saying definately has a gaming addiction…not just WOW but others as well.
I’ve been seeing him for almost 2mos and while we have a good time together I feel like the games have definately gotten in the way of us getting to know eachother.
Here is my issue/question: I really like this guy. He shows me that he likes me too but is unwilling to vocalize any kind of commitments. He plays these games constantly. I really don’t mind, I understand the gamer mentality…but this just seems really extreme. Should I get out while I still can? Do you think it is possible that his love for the game is what keeps me from being able to get close to him? Please let me know what you think…
Not sure why i am on this site, im in a raid and i hear this player state ” Yeah, my wife just joined the WoWWidows.” Mostly the only replies were “Ouch.” and “That sucks.” So i got bored and googled it, just i dont know…interested. Now, not saying any specific age for safety over the internet, but im a kid. I play WoW with my brother and i hear my mom constantly bickering at us to get off the stupid computer and go do our “House responsibilities.” I guess the same concept applies to the whole mom/off-spring to the girlfriend/boyfriend. I got interested in this whole thing because relitives of mine are getting divorced because the husband plays to many mmorpg’s. This is probably not exactly and “Age appropriate site” but some of the stories i read were actually quite interesting.
Now i feel bad for the Wow Widows, i really do, but if you can’t get your husband/w/e to get off for an hour or so then something is wrong on one or both parts of the relationship. Now on things called raids, where the gameplay can stack up to 1-5 hours depending on guild/instance, It is extremely hard to get the player from the computer. I used to raid when i was miserable sick, just have a pan and puke into it while i raided. This obviously isn’t like your normal PS2/PS3 game, this is a life to somepeople.
Recently i have gone from a star fullback on my schools football team to a “WoW addict” who sits on the computer for at least 4-7 hours after school. I became out of shape and went from a 6:12 mile to a 8:10. Recently i have gotten back in shape but still maintain a Wow schedule.
Now when your logging onto WoW, there are random hints that pop up on the screen. One of which says “Take everything in moderation, even World of Warcraft.” To much is not healthy for you, i didn’t realize how out of shape i was until my mother banned me from WoW and got me and workout schedule.
Now i don’t really belong on this site in the least bit, but i know WoW and the people who play on there (Mostly at least 7 years older than I and have kids to tend to.) The remarks that comes from the raids are usually “Hold on guys the wife is b*tching.” or “Brb guys gotta put the kids down to bed.” If my father cared about a video game more than his children, i would be very upset.
Now im not on here to complain, and im not taking “sides” with the widows or the players, but take it in moderation, it helps both sides. If you take it in moderation than you get more time with your family/w/e and you don’t burn out your interest is fast
I know these things because i used to sneak out of bed and stay up half the night raiding. Would be tired the next day and fall behind on my schoolwork, which applies the same to paperwork at w/e job you have.
In case your wondering:
– 60 undead warrior (full tier 2)
– 53 human mage
-32 dwarf palidan
note: For those of you who don’t know what “tier” is there are 3 tiers and they are the best armor sets in the game, and take months and maybe years to get from the point of level 1.
I was looking for some online WoW message boards and I came across, WoW widows. I thought what? I looked and there is really something that is called WoW widows. Then I find this sight. I cant believe there is such thing. Come on ladies, give the men a break. Cut the cord..do you have to spend every waking minute with the man of your “dreams”. I am a 30 years old MARRIED woman and my husband and I both play WoW as couple time. We love to play. Its awesome!!! We take turns and we even watch other play to maybe help one another do something that maybe he or I didnt know where it was. We even still have our time in bed and we still love each other even more. Look, I understand you may not like video games. I dont either to be honest but I was the one who bought WoW and I was the one who got my husband hooked. I just wanted something different then trying to be the next Martha Stewart. Sorry, not all women enjoy watching Racheal Ray or martha Stewart. I can also promise you that if you keep ragging, he is going to play more. Not because he wants to but because you just will not leave it alone. Give it a rest! Want to spend time with him? Then sit down besides him and watch him play. Ask him and be interested in it!!! He might actually enjoy YOU being interested in him for a change. Why does the man always have to be the one that gets up and shows the attention. Look, I know and understand that WoW can be so addictive that just one more lvl honey can be annoying. But change the rule book a little. You play…you watch him….sit down with him and say hey, I dont care you playing but can we come together and agree when there is time for me, the kids, or the house. Pretty soon, I bet if you quit the nagging, then WoW, may not be an issue anymore. If he doesnt resist and love you enough to understand that your trying to be interested in his likes or dislikes, then maybe you should find another ave. of attention. My husband and I both will stop in a heartbeat to tend to eithe rht kids or the dogs. Hell, we might die….but we dont let the game over power the love that is here. So, work on it and get interested for once in him!!!! Even though it may bore you to death!!!! Trust me, he may thank you later for it!!!
Also, I just want to add one more thing. If your wife or husband cheats on you because they met someone on WoW. Then there is a problem with your relationship. If he or she was going to cheat then dont blame a game. Its the internet, people find people. So, if you suspect your loved one cheating, then maybe its time to see what needs to change and I am talking about the gamer not the so called widow. It takes two to tango!!!
So, if you both get home from work at 6pm and he sits down on the computer are we meant to sit with them? What about dinner? the kids? homework? bath time? bedtime? chores?
And I have played the game, I have a lvl 40 BUT I have a real life and working full-time and children do not mix.
My children come before a bloody game and always will and in every aspect sooooooooooo by 9.00pm I am tired.
Now since you do play the game you know full well that to get anywhere at the end you need to spend time. I know that even when you raid you have to spend the other times getting ready for a raid. Oh and raids!!!
Here in Aus they are usually on a Saturday and they go for about 6 hours. So what do the kids do then? Watch TV?
Who mows the lawn, does the food shopping, gets the kids to sport?
It’s great that your Husband does these things but not all do. The “guilies” need them. Oh and also I think there is nothing more boring than clicking the same 3 buttons over and over again for hours and days on end. I need more mental and physical stimulation than that.
I don’t expect my partner to stop playing but I do expect him to be an adult and face his responsibilities first.
Hey, maybe I should start drinking if my partners an alcoholic, or doing crack if they are addicted to that?
Or maybe one person needs to be responsible for the rest of the family.
Oh, and maybe you haven’t heard of the many times a Mum has left Dad in charge of the kids while she goes out and comes back to find Dad so immersed in the game that one of the kids has got into poison?
Or a three year old has got a chair and opened the front door and went for a walk.
I know women where this has happened. And they married great, sweet fantastic guys until they started playing wow and doing the end raids.
To the victims of WoW..
I used to play the game like a religion so to speak, and I’ve been through the addiction. I’ve been through the phase of neglecting freinds, family, and responsibilities. I’m just going to tell you what I think would help get your husbands/boyfriends get off of the game once in a while. WoW is the most addicting thing I have ever done. I think what got me the most was, you have to work hard in the game to achieve certain things, whether it be a stronger character(level), or equipment you can obtain. You get a sense of accomplishment when you do these things. BUT, these things never end! The game never ends! So you are stuck in this stupid system. I used to “skate” out of events, invitations, and even skip work to play WoW. And my Girlfriend at the time hated it. I lost interest in having sex with her (lol) and really lost interest in doing things we used to do. And whenever she tried to talk to me about it, I just found it as nagging. So, I may be wrong, but what I reccomend for anyone who has the problem with thier spouse / friend playing too much WoW is, try to not insult or nag them. Try to make them enjoy the little time they DO spend with you. Also, don’t make any rash decisions, or threats as an attempt to peel them off of WoW. It takes a little time, but they will slowly realize the effect of the addiction. For instance, my friend (recovering WoW addict) always tried to get me to hang out with him, or go bar hopping like we always did. But I saw that as a Chore, to keep him happy. But then he just started adding the words “if you have time” or ” whenever is a good time for you” to all of his invitations. He just did things without me sometimes too. Little by little, when people would tell me how much fun they had and that “I should have been there” it started to add up. So I think you should just try not to pressure them too much, and they should slowly get off of the computer and do things in real life. Hope that helped some.
OK….Let me put this more simple:
First of all:
male or female that is addicted to WoW! Do remember your prorities first!!! If it means getting out of bed early to either, clean the house or get something done so that you can get your time in on the computer and finish a quest, then do it. If your wife seems to be doing everything and your just sitting there saying…”honey one more lvl”…let that be a clue that you are putting the game first. You may die, but if the wife or hubby or kids need you and you just have to let those evil murlocs kill you, then thats just the sacrifice you have to make. Remember, you can still get up and play again. Help the wife or husband and you may not here any bickering about how much longer your going to play will come ringin in.
Second:
Male or females that are nagging because hubby or wife didnt give you enough attention last night or this morning, quit nagging. Must you need that much attention from your SO 24/7.
Thats the problem I have. My husband and I live on a military post. My husband has several married friend that come over because they got tired of the wife nagging. Nagging not over just a game but maybe they drank to much beer or hec they drank a beer. I dont understand women or men who fuss just because you take the time to do something for yourself. I have a friend that I swear thinks she has to look like Barbie and live like barbie. It doesnt bother me but thats her. She spends a lot of money and TIME on getting herself to look good. She spends an hour with me at the gym and then she spends every week an hour at the hair salon and weekly nail treatment and I mean it..this woman…everything she does, she spends all her extra time on making herself look so pretty. It driver her hubby insane though. He appreciates the fact that she wants to look good but he does not appreciate the fact that he has to look at the calendar and see what appts she has so he can maybe tie in some couple time. Yet, she nags about how long he played Wow!! My husband told me that this husband came into work and he said he played WoW 30 minutes and she started her complaining. That is who i am talking to. Everyone that say they are falling “victim” of wow or a WoW “widow”…..come on…is it because he or she found something she likes to do other then you???? Sorry just my opinion!!!
Now if your SO really is not taking a shower or not paying the bills..ETC…..then yes there is a problem but that is who the real victim is and needs a support group…not the person watching it happen!!!
Yah, don’t get me wrong lol, I still play tons of WoW, but I have my priorities straight. I don’t have kids and stuff though, so I can’t relate to that one. Also, it’s good to remember that if your husband / wife wasn’t playing WoW, they probably wouldn’t be doing anything better.. They would be all over the lazyboy watching tv.
I agree with you Kel. I love to scrapbook and I even have a whole room dedicated to just that hobby. Sometimes I get so lost in my pages that I lose track of time and its my hubby having to remind me that its time to do something and here I am saying..just one more page hunny..ha
just wondering…is it acceptable 4 some one to play WoW two hours every second day, then not touch the computer for the rest of the time? And i agree! i play WoW, and i make a point to NEVER be a hardcore gamer, i only play it with people i know like my friends when we cant contact eachother by any other means!
my sympathy goes out to all those WoW widows…wat assholes hardcore players can be… i suggest ending it!
Me and my girlfriend have been playing WoW for 3 years, we both love the game and both know there are limitations on how long you can play.
We both have a healthy relationship and make time to spend with each other. The people who play for hours and hours on end have no life and therefore need a slap behind the head.
For instance, I have a level 53 warrior, he’s been 53 for a month now not even advancing in level for the fact of the matter is I spend time with the girlfriend and Work at Microsoft so I don’t have the time to really invest into a game at this stage of my life.
You must make time for those you love or you’ll loose them forever!
If I was going to play WoW I would talk to my girlfriend and let her know if it’s ok if I spend soso amount of hours ect.
If she was’nt ok with that, then no game plain and simple , guys and gals IT”S JUST A GAME NOT LIFE REMEMBER THAT. A game cannot bring you happiness.
Dorail you are so right!!!
just saying dorail, that the reson those silly addicts play those games is because it brings them happiness. And i have to say, i find it gives me entertainment, which is the equilivant of hapiness, even though i am a casual gamer…good strategyfor keeping your girl!
If your man would rather spend time in a video game than with you, where do you think the problem actually lies?
Perhaps a solution would be to agree that he or she may only play on the weekends, but that they can play as much as they like, with each day begining and ending at 12:00 A.M. when he or she should still be sleeping from working on Friday? This would allow 5 days out of the week for mutualy enjoyable things while allowing each of you 2 days of doing “your own thing”.
Hey Ladies,
Feel your pain (have been enduring the endless hours of hubby’s wow addiction for well over a year now).
How about getting his username and password then setting up a “Game schedule” under the new “Parental controls” that Blizzard has created. Do a search for WOW parental controls. If you do this the game will only allow the user to log on and play for the prescribed times. It was created for parents and kids, but heck I figure if they can’t behave like grown men and monitor the amount of time they spend on there, then they deserve to be treated like children.
Good luck!
i drove in LA traffic to see my boyfriend…and now he is playing WoW.
IS ANYONE ELSE SUSPICIOUS OF WOWCHIC?
I THINK WOWCHIC IS AN EMPLOYEE OF BLIZZARD
MRX’s suggestion may be slightly too extreme. Forcing them to play a certain amount of time could cause a larger problem from the feeling that you are taking control of their life. You must remember that your relationship is a mutual choice and if either party decides to fortfeit it there is no option for the other party. This of course is more complicated in a marriage but the same basics apply.
So here’s a point of view from a casual gamer who gets tons of shit from your douchebag women about playing warcraft.
If I come home from work and log onto WoW there is ALWAYS a good reason for it. I’m casual, I don’t “raid” and I’m mostly on there to talk to real life friends of mine. So here’s the deal ladies. I already explained this to my girlfriend and she refused to oblige so she can look at the back of my damn head.
1) If I come home from work and you are sitting there watching Lifetime? Yeah fuck that. It’s WoW time.
2) I’m playing WoW and I can hear you taking a shit in the bathroom and then 5 minutes later you want me to have sex with you? Yeah, I’m not addicted…. I just don’t want you getting shitcrumbs on my sheets. Shower and try again. (True story)
3) You force me to take you shopping with MY money that I worked for, go take dancing lessons with you, go see crappy chick movies with you, cuddle after sex, not beat you etc… But if I play WoW for mor than 15 minutes I’m neglecting you…. Yeah…..
So in closing….. Get a clue. Most of your boyfriends and husbands are addicted and probably wouldn’t mind getting off there and spending some time with you. You’re just a needy bitch and want them to do everything for you and spend every waking second with you and that’s their way of saying, “yeah whatever skank, go eat some ice cream and crie more”.
all of you who keep trying to put the blame on the wife “If your man would rather spend time in a video game than with you, where do you think the problem actually lies?” need to just STFU. a man is ignoring the wife and kiddies, and you want to blame them?
yeah, real life gets a little old sometimes, but a real man works through that, and deals with difficulties with the woman, and most importantly, with the children.
luckily for us women, there are plenty of men who don’t get immersed in a fake life, who do see us as interesting. you gaming geeks need to remember that.
I spend plenty of time with my girlfriend. In fact I spend too much time. I spend more time than i freakin want just cause she wants me to. So how about this… Everytime your man does something you want to do? He gets to do what he wants… Probably WoW, in my case it’s usually work on my car…. My girlfriend them both equally but at least if I go work on my car I don’t have to deal with bitching at me the entire time.
as far as a gaming geek is concerned amy, nekkid night elf >> bitchy girlfriend.
lots of people don’t get that this is a hobby for many folk, I certainly don’t stop my significant other from her gardening (ZOMG she prefers vegtables over me!! *carrot envy*) or photography interests, she doesn’t interfere with my game or reading interests.
Joel: I am not emplyed with Blizzard, but do you think they will give me a job because I need one..LOL!!
As far as my opinions. I probably am the only female who feels that way. My mom always said, my girl should have been a boy and my boy should have been a girl. I was always the mud ridn, tree climbing, ad matchbox girl everyone seemed to adore but later thought she wuold outgrow. I just love video games and so does my husband. We never anything away from each other. I also dont need his attention 24/7. To be honest, I love getting his attention but it would drive my nuts if it was 24/7. I dont ask to be smothered. My husband brings me flowers every week to. There are different things you can do instead of bitch because hubby spent “your” time with the wife. Sorry, just how I feel!!
unbeliever and billdo…you guys seem to be balancing properly, so us “bitchy” wives are not referring to you, so don’t take it personally.
you know how many times in the past year we have gone to bed together?? i could count on one hand.
yet, he constantly bitches that he doesn’t get enough sex. geee i wonder why.
stop taking us “widows” comments personally, and don’t blame us, unless you are doing what we are bitching about.
i agree, some of the widows do seem like nagging bitches. i was on a site where a girl was mad because the guy “even posts on the forums at work” wtf? big deal. and for the record, i don’t want his ass sitting on the couch watching lifetime and bringing me flowers every day. he is too romantic already, i don’t want hugs and kisses, i just want a member of the family. i want someone else to see the 3 year old misbehave and act on it, instead of me asking for help, and not being heard over the headphones, so screaming for it, then getting anger bc i interrupted him.
my husband is a guild leader of a huge clan and it takes up sooo much time. and since he is the gl, he can’t just not get on, so it is a big problem in my relationship. i feel for some of these women, i understand what they are going through. and for some of you to belittle the women and blame it on them is just thoughtless and rude.
and wowchic, you need to STFU too, i agree, we need to let our SOs have hobbies….but you obviously are as dense as these other men who don’t get that the men we are bitching about are going way overboard.
the disclaimer up top here needs to be reminded,
You don’t go to the circus, jump into the center ring and start doing tricks with the lions, ffs
you don’t have a clue what some women have it like. they are single parents.
i have a friend, one of my hubbies co workers/member of the guild, his wife….this man is so much worse than my hubby is. he is literally on all day long, all night….his kids don’t get any attention, he eats in the computer room. she has said she doens’t want to give him an ultimatum, bc he would choose the computer world. so you don’t get it, stay out of the fucking circus, you obviously don’t have a clue, so keep your opinion to yourself.
LOL hey…opinions are like Assholes..everyone has one!
Hmmm, needy bitch huh?
I have worked full-time and brought up 2 kids since their father died 8 yrs ago single handedly…before he came along. I know more about cars, paying bills, lawn mowing, bin day…pretty much everything really except computers. There he is King. I am very independant and always have been.
And you know what? I was a severe wow widow. He would play about 60-70 hours a week, do nothing around the house etc.
I understand hobbies. I have my own. But I make sure RL is handled first.
I broke up with him because I may as well of been single. I wanted a man who acted like a man, not a kid that couldn’t do jack shit but game! He finally woke up and admitted that he used it as an excuse to be lazy.
Now we are back together and he is very romantic but something was lost…killed… and he hates the fact that he let his gaming do that to us.
To the casual gamers…please game. Have fun.
But to those that chose to be in a relationship then be in one!!! Don’t watch it , participate! If you are not happy don’t just bitch about it, be a man and break up with her!
And to those parents out there that game 40-60 hours a week……GET OFF THE FUCKIN COMPUTER!!!!!!
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hallo.
im a 22 yo guy who lives in europe. im in a relationship for almost 5 years and we are planeing to get married and have a good life together. based on our time together and our feelings about yeahother and about our relationship we both belive we will have that. im am a gamer with some experience in pc games, atm i feel that im pretty old to play on the pc and games dont feel that good anymore. it was fun while it lasted. my gf is not into pc games, its not her particular cup of tea i suppose.
ill tell you straight away that i didnt feel sympathetic towards people who cant solve their own problems and rather bitch (dont take it as bad as it sounds) on forums or so on about them.
but as i read your post i realised that you reached a state of confusion, the sort all of us experience in our lifes, and are frustrated. i remember now pasing trough situations very similar to yours and i remember how devestated they make you feel. the sleepless nights, the the feeling of insecurity, the list goes on.
belive me when i tell you that the reason someone chooses to play wow, or whatever (fishing, etc), over spending time with you is because they like it more. im sorry, it is like that. and i believe you already knew that. dont lie to yourself. accepting the truth is hard but its the only way. the sooner you do it the better for you, and for your bf.
another kate, im sorry about your husbands death, i admire you for raising your kids alone. i know its hard to find a man as a mother, i know someone first hand and its been hard for her. i pretty much think you did the right thing and that you are an example for women in your situation. dont setle for less than you deserve and give your children a stepfather they can be proud of.
eric, its not really wow, its your gf dude. sux to be treated like that instead of her just beeing honest to you. i tried to make a unstable relationship work once, it ended badly.
sometimes you just gotta let it go.
for the girls who are denied sex for wow: its only gonna get worse. there are other cool people you’re not meating because your beging sex from a guy who rather jerk of to pixels. his loss, move on.
for the ppl who just post something to insult others: you took the time to post crap when you could have said a kind word or give some advise if you have any. you’re a spamer. poor show!
sometimes its time to let go. good luck! (sorry about typing mistakes, its late)
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I can’t believe how stupid you all are. i only read about halfway down this thing but for fucks sake your all a bunch of morons.
I’m a WoW player and personally I play probably only for maybe 4 or 5 hours a week depending on how much free time I have. Usually not much. but what i don’t get is why the women on here put up with the other halves ignoring them, seriously grow a spine. If I ever got that bad I’d hope my girlfriend would have the nerve to say something to me or even leave me depending on my reaction. Going by all the stories i have read on here so far it really doesn’t surprise me that things are going so badly for all of you because not only does it sound like you haven’t tried to figure out why your other half plays so much but also because it seems to me that not one of you have even done anything about it. For those of you that have exhausted all options I truly feel sorry for you and hope you find someone that wont treat you like dirt but as for the rest of you I really don’t care because as far as I’m concerned your just as bad as the problem.
So good luck to you all and I hope you find the courage to fix the problem. oh and to the gamers posting on here your not really helping but just showing your own stupidity.
ben i see where your coming from…but honestly i have had so many arguments about WoW with my bf and told him ow i feel n told him that its coming between us and everything and he stops going on it when im there for about a week n as soon as i seem to be ok with him its like he thinks ah she ok now i start bk on WoW again! and it just keeps going round in circles! i no wot u mean by grow a spine and maybe leave but when u love someone so much u carnt jusy up and leave because if it was that easy me and alot of other women that have commented on this site would have done this already! i have even tried to like WoW myself by making a character and tryin to play it…but i just carnt get in to it…fare-enough he can i really dont mind him playin WoW at all infact im glad he found an interest in something he likes doing…but its the amount of time he spends of WoW its like 24/7. i have days where i dont see him because he does raids or wotever they are…n he sed i wont see u on them days but when i do see u i wont go on wow while your here…but then again he goes on Wow while im there n i can argue with him while im blue in the face but it makes no difference i have even sent him some of these comments to say look WoW is addictive n its a problem but he’s like no its not i could quit 2mora but he never does!
all us women want is not to spoil there fun on WoW…but abit of attention from our lovers….shown abit of love and not took for granted and not all of converstaions to be about WoW and the time spent together not just been about having sex!and to have the amount of effort put into WoW put into the relationship as well even tho a relationship should have more effort put into it than a game. becuase if my bf put as much effort and as much love into our relationship as he did to WoW then our relationship would be 100% perfect!
any women that want to talk about the WoW problem and got msn my addy is
foxylady758@hotmail.com
be nice to here from someone that is going thro the same as me
gd luk to everyone with the same prob as me
and no affence to the WoW players but please see it from our point of view
Hey all!
Well.. my boyfriend is totally addicted to his f*cking stupid useless game..
I dont hate the game.. I dont care if he wants to play .. I just think that it isnt just for fun anymore… it´s something sickly!!!! I want to talk to him, but I cant.. I want his opinion in some situation and to count on him, but never can.. because he´s always playing
I dont think about breaking up the relationship.. but somethings is hard.. you feel like being less important.. And he plays it when he´s in my house!
Well.. I dont think about it now.. but if the thing still growing.. then I dunno what to do.. One think I know I wont do: fight to a game to stay ith him.. If he wants to stay like that.. he’ll stay alone or with someone who acept it well.. not me!
It seems like a karma in my life, because my ex bf was addicted to CS!
GOSH!
I dont like RPG games.. I tried to like.. I played DOTA a few times.. but Wow is boring.. I did play CS.. but didnt like it neither
And the last but not the least.. he asked me to give him the expansion, or whateva does it calls, of this game for Christmas..
p.s.: i´m brazilian.. so u had for sure read many many english errors. sorry..
I can’t believe some of the comments I’ve read here today. Some are sad, some are rude and some are well sorry to put it this way but just plain stupid. My husband & I and our 18 year old son all play WoW together. We love it. We belong to the same guild and have made some friends through the game, yes real life friends that we see on a weekly basis outside the game.
We have our family time, go out to dinner together, to the movies, watch tv and other things. My son has his friends at school and goes out on the weekends with them. My husband & I have our private time also away from the game. We do play the game for about 4 hours every night but we also know the difference between fantasy and real life. I was jealous for a while when he played computer games alot. I didn’t see what the attraction was. Then he gave me a game for Christmas one year. I tried it, Zoo Tycoon, and I was hooked. I then some of the other games he and my son love to play. I was hooked. I’m glad this is something we all have in common and can enjoy together.
I have a close relationship with my son that alot of Mothers don’t have. I’m very lucky. I will continue to play WoW and other games like it and will encourage my husband and son to also pursue their interests as well.
Try it, you may find out you like it. Give your spouses the benefit of the doubt.
Kitty – active WoW player
Level 60 Human Priest
Level 60 Dwarf Paladin
Level 42 Night Elf Hunter
Level 24 Night Elf Druid
Level 20 Troll Shaman
Apologies for my typing errors and omissions in my last post.
Kitty
fare-enough you play it with your husband and son which is great 🙂 good on u if u enjoy playing it but the thing that im tryin to say is my bf should respect that i dont like the game like he doesnt like things i do but the difference is i aint hooked on the things i du i make time for us but its like he makes time but only when he wants something like sex or something like that…i really dont mind him playin the game at all and i havnt got anything against people who play the game thats there choice. but when it feels like your bf is putting a game before u something cliks in your mind and makes you thing is this normal…am i duin something wrong .ect. and really i shouldnt be made to feel like that.
my bf has all day to play this game while im doing my exams and he has most of the night too as i go home at 10 most nights plus i go home at 6 weds fri n sun so he can du his raids the time in between them days when i see him i expect time for me and him to talk and interact with each other not just t have sex or have convo’s about WoW n talk about his raids and wot gear he’s got or needs i dont want to know about all that he should keep that for when im not there for him and his m8s to talk about.
fare-enough u people that play WoW dont think its anything wrong and just think its us people that dont play been sad and perthectic..which is ok ur opinion…but if u sit and think about it and think about something that bores you to death and really does not interest you and imagine sat watching someone do it and talk about it and basically live there life around it if it was gf/bf…you wud b saying the exact same as us!
and all you people that have a life aswell as WoW gd on you thats wot u should be doing. but my bf all he does is WoW as soon as he wakes its WoW the first thing he sees on a mornin is WoW the last thing he sees at night is WoW! n even wen he’s seein me its like WoW this WoW that let me just show u something oh theres something i need to do on WoW…or do you mind if i raid tonite babe? (even tho his raiding days r weds fri n sun) but stil nights he sees me he wants to raid. could u imagine that if it was something u werent interested in at all? honestly?
you might think im perthectic and woteva but really think about it as though its something you really dont like!
It makes me sick reading all of this crap. If you are having problems pulling your man off of his wow, screw another man in his bed in front of him. Fun for you and it will piss him off…if not just leave his sorry ass
I think its all about control….on both sides.
I was an everquest addict. I played like all the horror stories I just read above me. I was a disgusting piece of shit and worthless as a mate. I paid for it, I lost my wife.
I now play WoW for 3 hours on weds, 4 hours on friday and 3 hours on one of my two days off typically in the early mornings of weds. I rarely play but sometimes do an occasional 3 hours on monday (my guild raids mon, weds, fri) ..and thats it.
I have a question to ask…I recently got engaged to an amazing woman, we saw each other 3 nights a week because of her being in school and me working and it was not enough, so we got engaged and moved in, it was said beforehand I play computer games (she knew more details) and that I would abide by the above schedule but that it was NOT going anywhere, I truly find enjoyment out of gaming and am not an addict, but I refuse to give up my precious time (I also work 50 hours a week)
The problem is that after being engaged for 6 months she wants me to quit and says that I put the game before her because I play those nights instead of spending time with her, I explain to her that she gets ALL of my other outside of work time and that I dont go out with my single friends or leave her side EVER..and that she should be thankful for…
Am I in the wrong to want to play a couple nights a week? AFTER spending time with her when i get home from work by taking her out to dinner and such? She doesnt cook so going out to dinner usually takes the entire free time together those 3 nights/week…
She goes to college, I support her and so shes a stay at home …free person?…I just would like a little respect for the 12-15 hours/week that I want to MYSELF…because of what happened to me in the past im questioning whether its fair or not though…so I came to a hardcore forum with some hurt people hoping to get some feedback.