My AV Weekend

So this was probably the last holiday weekend for World of Warcraft’s Alterac Valley battleground, as we recently knew it. Version 3, we may come to call the current AV. (Version 1, the long-queue long-battles. Version 2, the removal of 2908902 NPCs. And Version 3, the post-cross-server post-honor-nerf Drek/Vann race we have now — PRE-honor nerf of patch 2.3.)

Anyways. They may pump up the honor of the 2.3 AVs, but I’m getting while the getting’s good.

So. I spent a bajillion hours in AV this weekend, making friends … no, actually, I didn’t make any friends, but I did get some laughs and I made it to at least one new /ignore list (that’s confirmed, people), and, oh ya, I met a horde warlock I hope to never cross paths with again.

One of the first interesting interactions came from this druid on my server. He wasn’t in AV, but he sent me a tell asking if my guild was recruiting boomkins. (That’s moonkin druids, for you non-WoW people. They boom boom, mostly.) Said me, I’ll ask. His name sounded familiar, I remember /who’ing him a few weeks back because some guildmates were in an awful heroic instance with him. Asked me in /gu, Isn’t *LilBoomkin* the druid who was gawdawful in heroic few weeks back?

No one knew, but before I could respond to LilBoomkin, he sent a mistell to me “I asked the guild”, and then, not realizing his mistake, “When we go?”. I was momentarily flummoxed. I /replied, “mt?” (that’s gamer-speak for mistell). He replied, “Hi. Yes? Who are you?” I “umm”-ed. He asked, “what they say recruiting?”

“Sorry, we’re full up on crazy in this guild.”

Later, I was in this scrappy AV where each side is fighting tooth and nail over every tower and graveyard. I’m on duty at Tower Point when the Iceblood Graveyard people ask for assistance. You might not know, but IBGY (that’s gamer-speak for Iceblood Graveyard — you’re catching on!) is just down the road from Tower Point, so I told my tower partners that I was gonna head over there and help them out, WHICH MEANS: Stay here and watch this. If I hadn’t said anything, I could see where a person could be confused if anyone was going and those graveyards sure are important.

I mounted up to ride over to IBGY, with all the other tower defenders behind me (/sigh), and when we arrived, we saw that the two IBGY defenders were fighting the Wing Commander. This was their IBGY emergency, the will-not-aggro-you-unless-you’re-really-trying bitch-to-kill horde NPC Wing Commander.

And of course, as you probably guessed already, we lost Tower Point in the meantime. GOD I LOVE ALLIANCE!

Before I returned to Tower Point to recapture, I did explain to the IBGY defenders that the Wing Commander IS NOT AN EMERGENCY. Don’t you be calling Foton over there to help you kill an optional mob. Or that beast of a warlock. No thank you!

It was kind of funny about the time I met that warlock beast, who I will call Beastie. Shortly before, I had just finished another AV where this one Alliance dude asked in /bg chat for some help with a warlock out in the middle of nowhere. I had told him, /bg I’m sorry, we can’t spare 15 people right now to go kill a warlock. Yuk yuk, warlocks are so OP, which I didn’t use to believe very much as I only had troubles here and there with them. But brother, now I’m a believer.

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Come! Come! Turtle these mangy Frostwolf dogs!

Vanndar's Turtle Tactics

A screenshot from a recent (could be any) Alterac Valley, and like always, the Alliance General Vanndar Stormpike calls for a turtle. What a moron.

(For those who are WoW-free, a turtled PVP battleground is 100% defense — either forced or voluntary.)

Here’s some amusing guildnames I’ve collected over the past few months from our PVP battlegrounds. Thanks to these guilds for providing entertainment as we rode into the valley of death.

<Whip Cream Bikini>
<Hanging with my gnomies>
<Lambda Lambda Lambda>
<Queue Me Up Buttercup>
<Not Enough Minerals>
<Clan Redundancy Clan>
<Reagent Vendor>
<Gank You Very Much>
<OMG Who Talked to Domo>
<We Wipe on Trash>
<Nightmare Bunny Rabbits>
<Hanz Wheres My Guild Bank>
<Vicious Space Bees>
<Not Worth Inspecting>
<Diablo is better>
<My GF is letting me play>
<Do My Laundry>
<House of Pwncakes>

mmmm, pwncakes.

NOTE: If you want to add your own nominations in the comments, either use no enclosures on the guildname, or, use the hex codes for less than and greater than symbols. You probably think, “why don’t you just tell us those codes, Foton?” Believe me, I would, but I can’t figure out how to do it without resorting to & l t ; and & g t ; except no spaces, and by the time you’re done with all that nonsense, you’ll wish you hadn’t bothered.